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Wild Coyote
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Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 12,735
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May 13, 2020 at 05:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Christina
I've always struggled at times with Suicidal thinking, Its just part of my particular Bipolar soup. Most days its a passing thought, Other times when I am not doing well I need to pull out my safety plan and work the steps and hurdles and reach out for help...
My T asks the same questions per the companies policy if I have wanted to go to sleep and not wake up , Have I thought of ending things and if so how ? and do I plan to carry that out..
My husband has been very sick for a month now... When I talked to my T 2 weeks ago, he asks me the questions.. Reality hit me .. I do not have the "luxury" of thinking about suicide anymore, When I would either get shoved into a situational hopeless place or my chronic pain had me once again thinking .... Why ? what is the point of getting up each day..
I cant day dream that I no longer exist, or not have chronic pain that is so bad it hurts to breath, I cant escape into that place that often honestly is comforting, knowing I can pick and choose to stay or go.. the "thinking" was a coping skill and now its been ripped away from me...
This is something I need to talk to my T about....
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You have a tremendous amount of stress, pain, grief/sadness to cope with every single day. You've been doing an outstanding job. There comes a time when we all can use more support.
I fully intend to be here for you.
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
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