View Single Post
Wild Coyote
Legendary
Community Liaison
 
Wild Coyote's Avatar
Wild Coyote has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 12,735 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
70.9k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Heart May 13, 2020 at 05:31 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Christina View Post
I've always struggled at times with Suicidal thinking, Its just part of my particular Bipolar soup. Most days its a passing thought, Other times when I am not doing well I need to pull out my safety plan and work the steps and hurdles and reach out for help...

My T asks the same questions per the companies policy if I have wanted to go to sleep and not wake up , Have I thought of ending things and if so how ? and do I plan to carry that out..

My husband has been very sick for a month now... When I talked to my T 2 weeks ago, he asks me the questions.. Reality hit me .. I do not have the "luxury" of thinking about suicide anymore, When I would either get shoved into a situational hopeless place or my chronic pain had me once again thinking .... Why ? what is the point of getting up each day..

I cant day dream that I no longer exist, or not have chronic pain that is so bad it hurts to breath, I cant escape into that place that often honestly is comforting, knowing I can pick and choose to stay or go.. the "thinking" was a coping skill and now its been ripped away from me...

This is something I need to talk to my T about....
You have a tremendous amount of stress, pain, grief/sadness to cope with every single day. You've been doing an outstanding job. There comes a time when we all can use more support.

I fully intend to be here for you.

__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
Wild Coyote is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
~Christina
 
Thanks for this!
~Christina