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*Beth* · May 24, 2020 at 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

The last time I thought about it was 6 years ago. After 4 weeks of doing research I had a plan that was lethal. Something stopped me. It wasn't family or the thought of my death. It was concern. For some reason I was worried about traumatizing the person who would find me. It was enough to keep me alive. The urges were very strong for about three days. Somehow I got through it, without telling anyone, even my psychiatrist, who was treating me for depression at the time. She only found out about it two years later. - I kept so much from her.

My first attempt was at 18. Certain medications seemed to induce suicidal thoughts. When I was on them, I was constantly suicidal. It was awful and traumatizing. Out of misery, I stopped all medications when I was 20. My head cleared and the thoughts disappeared.

I have been to the ER and found it to be the most invalidating place. I can still remember being told at the age of 20, that I was always feeling suicidal by a nasty psychiatrist. I'll never forget her. I stopped visiting the ER after that, and will never ever go back to one for that reason. Ever.

I've had horrible experiences in the ER (for mental health). Vicious, sadistic sh*ts for pdocs. Seriously, they should not have been licensed. I am determined never to go to an ER for psych reasons again.