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CatsNstuff
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Member Since: Jun 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 14
3 yr Member
Default Jun 17, 2020 at 05:23 AM
 
Hi just2b, I'm not a therapist, I just wanted to respond.

Being attracted to your therapist is a normal part of the healing process. Talk to your therapist openly about it, if they are a good therapist they will respond in a way that bolsters your corrective attachment experience while staying within the ethical bounds of a therapist/client relationship. Strong emotional feelings are a good sign of healing, people with attachment issues need to experience positive relational experiences to heal and that is what therapists are suppose to be, a strong positive relationship to act as a corrective experience to correct for the negative relational experiences of our past.

I am a 30 year old man, below I will be talking about my traumatic sexual past and it might be triggering.

Possible trigger:


For me it's been 5 years of healing, 5 years of recognizing my trauma, talking to therapists and opening up to friends. I've explored my sexuality, my humanity. I am proud to be queer, polyamorous and pansexual. I am pansexual, my attraction is not limited by sex or gender, I am polyamorous, my romantic love is not limited to one person. We humans need to form bonds with eachother, we need it to be happy, it's why solitary confinement is one of the cruelest punishments known to humankind.

TV is just that, TV, it is not an accurate representation of real life. Life is hardly ever so clear cut as a script. Life is complicated, fluid and filled with uncertainty. Be kind to yourself as you explore your sexuality, your humanity. So many of us have grown up in a sex negative, emotional negative culture which isolates us from one another and the resources we need to learn, to grow and be happy. We are all different, how we think, how we feel, how our body reacts to the world, but there are somethings common to us all. We all need intimate bonds to be happy humans, intimate bonds with our friends, our family, our animals. We don't all need romantic or sexual bonds, but we do need intimate bonds.

It's okay to be confused, it's okay to be unsure and it's okay to change who you are if that's what feels right to you. There is a huge spectrum of sexuality, it's okay to not know where you sit on the spectrum or if you even want to be on the spectrum. Heterosexuality, homosexuality, pansexuality, asexuality are just a few of the sexualities humans can express. Polyamory, monogomy, and celibacy are expressions of our romantic/sexual values, each of us is different, and each of us have to find out which one fits us best, when it fits us best. Life is ever changing and you might find yourself shifting from one expression to another throughout life, or you might stay with one expression throughout your whole life. It's your life, be kind to yourself, be kind to others, you deserve it .

I know forums filled with text can be quite impersonal so I'd like to recommend a podcast, Psychology in Seattle with MFT. Kirk Honda. His podcast has helped me a lot in feeling safe and helping me to break down the walls of shame and negativity that has embedded themselves in my mind living in a sex/emotion negative culture. He and his colleagues/guests are incredibly kind, articulate and funny. I like to listen on Podcast Addict, but you can find it on Itunes, Castbox and various other podcast apps. You can also just go on his website/youtube to listen. On the top row of his website you'll find "Episodes by Subject", probably the easiest way to filter for what you're looking for, I think you'll be more interested in the Sexuality and Gender subjects.

Episode recommendation for you:

#983 - 11/04/19 - Falling in Love with Your Therapist

__________________
"All of us, at some time or other, need help. Whether we're giving or receiving help, each one of us has something valuable to bring to this world. That's one of the things that connects us as neighbors--in our own way, each one of us is a giver and a receiver." -Mister Fred Rogers

Last edited by CatsNstuff; Jun 17, 2020 at 05:46 AM..
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