I have CPSTD, as well as bipolar depression. I the depression is so bad right now.. I am not sure I will make it till morning. Last week my housekeeper's mother died in our house. She died in the arms of her daughter. Her daughter is beside herself and I just feel I am coming to an end of me

I wuld like help, I would give anything for it, but there is none where I am, iHondoras and I will not go back to the US I left there because I was homeless and living on the edge of poverty. That is no way to live. THere is very little help for psych problems such as mine herein in Hondoras. Of course, the Pandamenic is making it just that much worse. No hospitals are really open. This is a poor country. I have a syringe and am thinking of filling it with water and just injecting it into my vieins . When it hits the heart perhaps I will die. It is so odd to write tis and know that no one cares or will check up or try to help. I tryly am alone.

I am very alonge although I have a family, but I feel no real love except for my money. Where do I find help when there is none? Calllig the suicide hotlines are a waste of time, they are all in the US. There is a hotline here, but it is all in Spanish. I don't speak enough Spanish to be able to explain anything.

It's funny. It is all up to me.. I can kill myself within the next hour. My ex, with whom I live won't care. He'll get my social sec. disablity benefits, that's all hecares about.

Well so much for this. I am Lysis, I have a book coming out. It will never happen.