I definitely relate in craving the numbing. That's what I got from drinking. One of the toughest things we have to learn in recovery is to stay with and feel our feelings. But it does get easier with time and practice.

This can be a great place to process stuff and get support, but would like a IRL alternative to AA, I'd suggest SMART recovery. I know a lot of people who use that group and really like it.

Also not sure of your gender, but if you're female, there's also Women for Sobriety, which is the program I use.

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