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Lonelyinmyheart
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Member Since: Jun 2019
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Default Jul 28, 2020 at 05:10 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie View Post
I am laying around because I can not go out as it is 96 degrees in addition there is no where to go because of COVID and my husband has cancer so I have to reduce my risk. I do get up every morning and workout, cook breakfast and clean up, make sure my work is done for the up coming week but then there is just nothing to do. I do have enough work during the week to keep me on the sane side but that nagging logging and obsession of him shrouds me like the grim reaper.
I totally get how painful this kind of obsession is. I experienced something similar many years ago for someone (not a T) who I had a special relationship with but was then cold shouldered.

Ultimately, I found that only focusing my attention elsewhere helped me to move on. I know that probably feels impossible for you because you don't have much to do currently. Could you start a course online or take up a new activity like learning a language or playing an instrument? I'm NOT trying to minimalise your pain, at all. I know how desperate it feels. But I think that analysing your obsession and looking at your ex T's profile and all those things probably only serve to feed into your obsession further at this stage and the answer is to try and focus elsewhere. It will feel impossible to begin with so self-discipline is important. Maybe also try some things that feed your soul - sitting out in the garden/in a park nearby, journaling out your emotions, meditation. I know there's a big gaping emptiness and you feel like you'll die without him - I've been there. It's a horrible form of grief as there's no closure but with any grief it's possible to learn to live with it and manage it without feeling unable to function, it will just take a lot of time and determination to do so.

Last edited by Lonelyinmyheart; Jul 28, 2020 at 05:35 AM..
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