I'm sorry it's so hard right now. Just keep trying to find other stuff to focus on. Other things that help me include inspiring videos, spiritual ones if you're that way inclined, otherwise stories of human bravery, overcoming suffering etc, plus watching lots of comedy even if I don't feel like it as it does start to sink in. You can do so many things online including learning a musical instrument or a language. You could maybe blog about your experience with this T to help others?

It's important to feel your emotions and not force yourself to feel differently but by the same token it's easy to get stuck in a cycle of reinforcing pain. Like any grief, make time for the feelings as and when they come up, but try and make yourself think about other things. It WILL get easier to cope with.