Hi, this is my first post on psych central forums. I’ve heard this is a helpful and supportive community and that’s what I need right now. I thank anyone who takes the time to read this and reply. It might be a bit long so please be patient.

I’m a young man in college, and I haven’t had a girlfriend or dated anyone yet, or admittedly even experienced a first kiss yet. All the romantic milestones I’ve crossed off none, and I have only myself to blame.

Since my first crush nine years ago I’ve developed feelings for dozens of girls over the years for different reasons. I’ve asked out about eleven people in my life but no more.

I’ve always struggled socially and been shy but this is exacerbated with women and because of this I have little to no experience with them and it frustrates and bothers me at this point.

Part of the reason for my shyness and introversion is due to a speech impairment I have. I have a quiet and scratchy sounding voice because of an operation I underwent when I was quite young, which I won’t get into. Despite this, I’ve had quite a few friends over the years who didn’t mind and make no mistake some girls have shown me interest but it didn’t go anywhere.

The main belief behind my shyness is that I don’t want to be rejected. I’m aware rejection and unrequited love is a central part of life everyone experiences but that doesn’t reduce the anxiety I feel of what if she dislikes me

What triggered me to make an account here and post is because I had a phone call yesterday with a girl I hit it off with from bumble. We talked on the phone for over an hour, something I’ve only done once before, and I was so damn awkward and nervous. I kept repeating myself, and stammering and taking so many awkward pauses. It was painful. I could tell she thought so too. She seemed confident and composed compared to how I was. I didn’t think I was this bad with girls. I was too nervous to compliment her or turn the conversation romantic at all. This call shattered my faith that I can have a relationship the way I currently am. How the hell am I supposed to get anywhere with women if I can barely even flirt or talk calmly with them?

Certain people have given me advice in the past like having a sense of humor, a lot of women like men who can make them laugh. Yesterday I kept wanting to be more playful, as I was over text, but I was paralyzed with nervousness. I was so not tactful.

I really want to experience love, companionship, and romance at least once in my life. My failings have prevented this. I want to get a partner and move on with my life.

Does anyone here have any suggestions or advice for my social issues? I would really appreciate it. Anything would help. Thanks