I'm so sorry you are struggling like this. It really does sound like you aren't getting the help you need, I couldn't find the right help for my son either...
I'm not any kind of person to say what I think because I'm not really experienced with autism and aspergers, but I have read lots of articles, and I think you are correct with your self diagnosis.
Not wanting to be touched is one example. Hard time being around other adults etc. like you've said. You know yourself well and that's a good start. I sure hope someone who has this will respond to you. @jimi are you around to help out please?

I'm sorry your parents called you messy, lazy, disruptive, tantrums.... it really sounds like they ignored you and neglected to get you the right help.

I'm very tired, I don't want to give you unsolicited advice, I just want you to know you have been heard. I wish there was a way that mental health care would provide you with further testing instead of just labeling it as anxiety. The mental health care is failing so many people. I'm sorry. Try to know you are not alone as long as someone is listening to you and hearing you.