Quote:
Originally Posted by justbreathe1994
Thank you all for your input! The reason I feel compelled on some level to tell my sponsor about my relationship is that I know my relationship with Ex T was one facet of my addiction. I was addicted to the relationship. The ending of that relationship catapulted me into my drinking cycle and was/still is a major trigger for my cravings. She knows of a past relationship being a trigger but doesn’t know the specific details (like the relationship actually being with a therapist and not a significant other). I told her the relationship was triggering cravings and she started asking all these questions and really wanting me to share with her. She was extremely nice about it but I kind of shut down because I’m too afraid of sharing with her. My biggest fear is that I won’t find all the relief from working through the steps if I hide facets of myself and my addictive personality.
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This seems to make sense that you would tell her about it then.
Out of curiosity, do you have OCD? I ask because I was sort of addicted to my ex-marriage counselor and also am working on some issues with alcohol now. And something that came up in my session with my current T yesterday was whether the OCD might play into that (I asked about it). In describing some stuff about my drinking (and, in the past, smoking--haven't had a cigarette in >10 years), he said how some of it seemed like rituals. How maybe some of it is about the ritual for me, which can be an OCD thing (I've had OCD since childhood). Pretty sure the OCD contributed to my obsessions about ex-MC and I think it may have some effect on my drinking (and I wonder now if some of that might be a substitute for him...). So, just something to consider. There's also a form of OCD that's pure obsessive.