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SlumberKitty
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SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
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Default Aug 28, 2020 at 03:51 PM
 
Huh. Strange. I feel like
Possible trigger:
not sure what it is that is causing it. I just feel unrest inside of me and needing something soothing. I'm also really tired from this pandemic and the havoc it has caused on my work. That's stressful. I don't think it is stressful enough to want to cut over it. So there has to be more about what I am feeling. I looked up hospital reviews for the mental hospital I was at in January. So many one stars with so many people saying they wished it could have had zero stars or negative stars. That really said a lot to me. Having lots of thoughts about the hospital again and my experiences there. If there are so many one star reviews no wonder I felt like the whole thing was traumatic.


My parents are going away on Labor Day weekend. I live with them but I can't go because I need to look after my diabetic cat. The last time they went away I ended up hospitalized and they had to come back home. I told them I would try to not let that happen this time. I'm not looking forward to them being away but they have business to attend to so I get it. It's a good chance for me to practice being alone but I already feel tense about it. That is probably not helping things, not helping how I am feeling. Probably them leaving is triggering thoughts of the hospital, as well as it just being a few days past the day of the month that I was admitted. This time seven months ago I was still at the hospital. Scary. I never want to go back there even though sometimes I think I need to.

I shouldn't hurt myself but I am wanting to. I have worked so hard to get to seven months without it. Tomorrow will be 31 weeks. I just need to get through this time and it will be okay. I guess it's just stressful.


HUGS All, Kit

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