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paladin313
Junior Member
 
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: Washington State
Posts: 10
3
Default Sep 04, 2020 at 11:08 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ACJP View Post
With you in spirit I am in the same situation here. I had to start my own businesses just so I could work alone and avoid as many interactions as possible. Each time I try to socialize or have a conversation I am exhausted for hours and sometimes for the remainder of the day. I had to attend a meeting for business yesterday and by the end of the meeting I felt like I was shattered into pieces and needed to go home and reassemble myself. I always knew that I was very different but as I got older I realize just how different I really am. A family member learned about Aspergers as a job requirement and immediately knew that I had it. After reading about it myself I had no doubt and my score on the test was solid confirmation of what I already knew. I have kept it a secret for many years and sometimes just want to tell people so they understand that I just can't help it - I just don't want people to know. I was hoping to speak with others who have Aspergers so we can support each other in this sometimes lonely existence.
Well, over the years, (and they have been many,) I have been able to condition myself to be able to handle groups well, but I am not as drained as I used to be. However, the other shoe drops when in that situation: diareha of the mouth, and on one subject on which I like at that moment. The spotlight is on and now I am the star. It's just as draining, but at least I'm socalizing. However, it's not always to the liking of those there. With Aspy's, that can happen. I'm at the point where, if I am awake and have had a self talk before going into a situation, I can stay on my toes and keep myself from doing socially awkward things. However, if I am tired, or becoming so, its ASD default setting that kicks in, and here we go again.
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