I am the way I am. I wish I could undo myself. I don't fit anywhere. I wish I could open up more. I admire & consider other people so interesting. I love them. But there is something about me that feels this pillow or a cloud between us. I feel so much love & admiration for special others. So why is it so hard to open up a little bit more? This is a good place. Thanks to many of you. I definately dissociate! I've been doing that since I was a child, an escape. Bad things happened back then & then later on. But I found a way & now, thank goodness I'm here.