You can take your time getting to know people at a pace that is comfortable for you. And when you do this just make sure you set boundaries and be consistent with those boundaries. Also, practice being a good listener. You could be a good listener already, but people who like to control and manipulate others have a tendency to contradict themselves a lot.

Watch their actions. Do what they say and what they do match up? How do they treat their friends? Their family? Does this person sound self-entitled? For example, do they have a tendency to act like someone owes them something? Do you find yourself drained whenever you spend time with this person? Do they have a habit of trying to pressure you even though you're adamant about your stance on a subject? Do they have a habit of throwing tantrums?

There's lots of articles out there on the red flags of controlling and abusive behavior. Like this one: Controlling Behavior: Signs, Causes, and What To Do About It | Supportiv

Don't be quick to dismiss articles that are aimed toward romantic relationships. Those same red flags can pop up in friendships too. I think you're doing a great job at recognizing this behavior to be honest. You won't always catch these types of people right away. When you do, don't be afraid to put up boundaries or even cut them off or establish distance. Do what's right for your mental health.