Hi guys,
I love to get your opinion about my problem:
I (21 M) had a rather traumatic experience with marijuana about two months ago. The intoxication triggered a panic attack, the first one in my life, mind you. Since then I have had symptoms of depersonalization/derealization and the associated existential thoughts, visual problems and general alienation, as well as anxiety and constant worries that I might have triggered a psychosis through this consumption.
Generally nothing new, I understand that many people have had these fears after a traumatic experience with marijuana. Nevertheless, as a hypochondriac I started googling diligently and of course my symptoms got worse. After weeks of sleepless nights and continuous worries, I couldn't stand it anymore at some point and just wanted answers to my many questions.
I went to two psychiatrists who assured me that I had nothing but a mixture of anxiety, OCD and depressive moods. I have tried to accept this diagnosis, I really have. I tried to distract myself, walked outside a lot and meditated daily. I also spent a lot of time with my parents and friends, which certainly improved my mental state.
However, lately I have had symptoms that really worry me and make it really hard to accept my diagnosis:
I noticed that i am having sudden memory, taste and thought pop ups in my head. I don't feel the taste but the thought of the taste of a food suddenly comes to my mind. It is so hard to explain, I suddenly recall a memory from my childhood, dreams, unrelated events in the past. Also, these thoughts happen, when i am not focusing on anything, they just kinda pop up. I might also need to mention that these mind pops have been getting waaaayy worse after i read online that this ´phenomenon´ is usually more common with schizophrenia. So are these just intrusive thoughts and signs of an overworked mind and due to my over-awareness? Maybe racing thoughts? Or something much worse?
I would love to get some opinions in, because i am starting to get worried about this whole thing.
Many thanks in advance!