Boy can I relate. I'm also my family's black sheep. I also grew up emotionally neglected by my father and my mother, and my siblings and I do not have healthy relationships with each other as adults.

I am estranged from my entire family and occasionally get texts from one sibling about their children.

It used to make me sad, thinking about the lies being told about me behind my back. But, once I accepted that there is literally nothing I can do to change these people's choices, then, I learned to let go of the worry and anxiety of the fallout associated with their slander and gossip about me, on my nieces and nephews.

My nieces and nephews will have the choice to contact me when they grow up and I will be open to their contact.

My advice to you, OP, is to reward yourself for having good boundaries. You have decided to take your power back from your father, by refusing to reach out with your olive branches of lunches etc.

I commend you on that decision. There are many of us in your shoes -- adults estranged from toxic family members. I cope by reading blogs and articles online about family estrangement.

Have you sought out any good books or articles on family estrangement? Also, YouTube has a ton of content on how to cope with dysfunctional family systems when you're the black sheep.

Let's face it. We black sheep are the result of family triangulation; basically, they need to label someone the "bad" one, to keep the dysfunctional family system intact. If they have a target, they can blame that one person for everyone else's problems.

The only way to get away from that role, is to reject it. And for me to get rid of my black sheep role; I chose estrangement. It's allowed me to love myself and be proud of myself without my family's projections and blame and shame on me as their target.

It forces them to turn on each other, and gives me the emotional freedom that I deserve. Am I lonely? Yes. But, my loneliness is the price I pay to have a healthy sense of self. If I stay in contact with my toxic family system, I will never be free of their projections, lies, blame, and shame.