Developmental trauma steals so much from us. I too feel like I can love others but don't fit in anywhere myself, can't open up to others myself.
It is so hard to be vulnerable enough to connect with others emotionally when your brain and your being has developed to defend the self from being hurt from others.
I keep hearing that whatever a child learns about love, life and relationships in their first 1000 days will be their blue print for human relationships for life.
I feel doomed.