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Aviza
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Aviza Calm
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
10 yr Member
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Default Sep 16, 2020 at 12:30 PM
 
I'm living independently in a subsidized apartment. Do I just live and let live or do i try for more? I mean I'd like to have a partner, have a home. But honestly dating sucks, guys are not looking for what i am. I'm not sure I'm marriage material. My marriages were awful. So maybe i should give up on finding someone to marry. I honestly wouldn't marry anyone I'm dating right now.

I'm thinking about weight loss surgery. Main reason. Attract a descent guy. Not that that would be a guarantee it would help to look good. I could exercise to death but i never do enough. Fat genes suck.

Weight loss is a goal.

A new used car is a goal.

A husband is ultimate goal.

I'm just tired of trying on things that seem very difficult. I have to pay down my debt. But i could avoid surgery by using this expensive supplement. Which increases my debt. Surgery is covered by insurance. So is a car more important than weight loss? Not really my health is teetering on the edge of chronic disease.

My focus needs to be on health and wellness. But my car is not going to last forever. I think i should be ok with my subsidized, single life. But hormones kick in and that's another reason i want a partner or husband.

Guess status quo isn't good enough. I have to keep striving for more for better. But getting there is so hard. I want to give up.

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Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P.
Daughter: 20
Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs.
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