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Psychotic_Phil
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Member Since Feb 2007
Location: Seattle WA USA
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Default Apr 29, 2008 at 05:43 PM
 
I would agree completely, even though I'm not bipolar or schizophrenic/schizoaffective. At times it may have seemed that way, but my illness is always episodic and my mood is always low and never really manic-y. Hyper and angry perhaps, but never manic. And my psychosis was so light and so fleeting and so much in my control that I never realized that perhaps it had something to do with my worsening possible dysthymic depression. It's most likely dysthymic and I've heard of people with that having brief and fleeting psychosis, like me. My personal theory on my psychosis is that it was a desperate attempt by my self esteem to regain control of my mind. Paranoia after all, made (POSSIBLE TRIGGER NEXT SENTENCE!!!!!) me (and I emphasize me) that someone or something, however dark and malevolent cared about me. Somewhere it was a strange feeling of reassurance that I was important.

But that's just a hypothesis that no doctor will ever take seriously. Then they would wonder if I was really dysthymic and not having major depression. Well doc, if you look closely, I have three of these symptoms most of the time:

* Poor appetite or overeating
* Insomnia or hypersomnia
* Low energy or fatigue (This one)
* Low self-esteem (This one)
* Poor concentration or difficulty making decisions (This one sometimes)
* Feelings of hopelessness (This one)

That is NOT MDD, as much as you'd think it would be. Why then did I have one year of low to moderate depression, the required time for children and adolescents?! Alas, I digress. It's like I'm debating already...

Stay strong and vigilant of course, regardless of your illness or prognosis, mental illness is not a death sentence for everyone. All it can do is torture most people in the most agonizing of fashions until you find a way to prevail in some fashion. Believe me, I know and I don't have one of the more serious ones like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder like my dad and former girlfriend.

That's all for now...

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