I don't understand how you ever thought that what you did was okay. It is never okay. You have created an environment of isolation. I now suffer from depression, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, CPTSD. I started self harming because I didn't know what to do. I understand that I am blaming you for my actions against myself. I don't know if I will become sexually active because every time it crosses my mind, I think of you and what you did. I was 9, what made you think you could get away with it. I don't want you in my life, but at the same time I can't escape you.