Your not the only one who is in this situation. Does that make a difference, I don't know. But I'm also old and have no interest in transitioning at this point in my life. When I was young I didn't dare tell anyone. I spent a large part of my life not wanting to live. But I don't feel that way anymore. It's really just become part of who I am. I don't have any close freinds because I don't feel safe telling anyone so it limits how emotionally connected I can become to anyone. I know this may be a incomplete thought but I read this post and felt I needed to say something