I like my therapist. I truly do—he is the most empathic person I know. But I am angry. I’m angry because he is trying to support me during this depressive episode. I’m angry that he wants me to reframe. I’m angry because I want to be left alone yet I continue to see him. I don’t understand myself. I ache and ache and break down sobbing if I spend any time thinking of the losses I’ve experience since March. I just want to sink into this pit of despair and be done with it.

I physically ache. My heart hurts. Does that happen to anyone else? Like your chest is caving in and there’s a deep dark ache? How can emotions physically hurt like that? I understand a headache or stomach kind of physical pain brought on by emotions but this is like the emotions themselves hurt.