Honestly I wish I had answers for you and in fact me.
Been living with this diagnosis for 10 full years and I'm like at the 1st hurdle again.
I am currently going through depression and I'm struggling. I'm a tiny bit suicidal but I'm OK. I think.
I am not medicated then I am then I am not then I am. I go yo yo'ing through this every year. You think I would understand by now.
I have the full whack depression, mania, anxiety, psychosis, ocd etc feels like its never bloody ending
I hope you get there soon, there are some guys on here that can hopefully help you out. I'm not very good at this sorry.
Maybe in time I can help you out. But for now I will keep checking your post to see if I can use the hints or tips I'm hoping you'll get.
Only piece I have to offer.... we are all different and recovery is different for everyone.