Hi Will, the gay guy I mentioned was one of my colleagues at the time and he was open about it; I developed a sudden crush on him when we worked a night shift together once. I let it fade naturally and didn’t tell him anything about it. I’ve found other gay guys attractive as well, not to the same degree, but held back talking to them for a lot of reasons even before I found out they were gay (and then I let my attraction to them die, because I knew they wouldn’t be interested and I respected that). Those guys were work colleagues, too.
I’m sorry to read your experiences, though. That’s rough and I wish I knew a good solution for you!