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Have Hope · Nov 22, 2020 at 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

There are so many reasons women stay.

1. Some stay because they feel that being independent and self supporting is even more difficult than enduring abuse. Many are convinced that they must have a man to pay bills, cgange oil in their car, drive places, fix things etc They can’t snd won’t learn independence so they’d rather stay abused

2. Wrongly assumed that “for better or worse” also includes enduring abuse. Wrong

3. Can’t and don’t know how to be alone

4. Wrongly assume that it’s healthier for kids to observe parents in bad marriage than having parents divorced. Wrong. Then they should not be surprised their kids aren’t able to be in good relationships themselves: they never saw one

5. Fear. Fear of consequences. Fear that it could worse if you leave. My husbands ex threatened suicide if he left her (and attempted when he tried to leave first time), causing him problems at work (she tried that when he finally left), causing him problems with kids (she tried that too, didn’t succeed), threaten to not allow him to see kids (she tried that), threatened to unleash smear campaign (she tried that). It took him many years to leave her and for kids to grow up and finally estrange from her.

All very good points. Thanks for your input!

I find it sad when women don't want to find ways to be more independent and when women completely depend on men for financial support and all the rest, especially in today's world. I am someone who is fiercely independent and self reliant, so being self sufficient has always been very important to me. But that's just me. I cannot imagine having to depend on a man in so many ways, especially financially -- and I cannot imagine that being so dependent could prevent me from breaking free of abuse. I am in a more dependent state right now, as you know, and it's making me insane. I cannot stand it.