[justaghost]

no one will know me.. i don't post here much but,
i'm in crisis
i'm about to %#@&#! up
about to buy liquor.
actually i drove around last night to 2 different supermarkets before realizing they don't carry hard liquor like in cali..

wnet out agiain this a.m. in search of a liquor store.
instead i ended up crying in front of the drive thru lady at a burger king buying a coffee instead.. so embarrassing, i couldn't get it together..

the only phone number i still have in my head is licia's.. my old therapist that i stupidly got too attched to. god.
who do i call to keep me from calling her?

the coffee tasted like such %#@&#!.. if they'd boiled it anymore it woud actually be dry.. so i came home and made a cup of coffee and signed on here. i don't have anyone. it's been more than 2 years.
ghost

[Raynaadi]

We all have moments like that....you don't have to drink. If you need someone to talk to, look up your local AA. Even if you don't go to AA, there will still be someone on the other line who can talk to you. I wish I wasn't leaving right now.....I'm glad I just saw this.....I just had to tell you that you don't have to drink. This too shall pass. I promise, the moment will pass and you can make it through sober. Just don't pick up the first drink. Drink that horrid coffee and be grateful that it isn't liquor.

I don't know you, not yet, but I care and you don't have to drink today. Look up AA in Portland and call the hotline. There will be an understanding voice. I'm not saying go to AA if you don't, but at least its someone to talk to. You can make it through.......

Rayna

[shadowalker164]

Good advice from Ray…
Ghost, all alone we are at king alcohol’s mercy, and alcohol for us has no mercy. Reach out to other places besides forums like this. Face to face is good. AA is good. Any recovery group is good.

But just sitting with our own thoughts all-alone, that isn’t so good! In fact, that can get us drunk. Do the smart think. Even if it is a little scary, reach out.

Richard

[justaghost]

thank you so much rayna & richard..
i had no one to call and i did something i don't usually do, i caught myself before i could act and i waved my arms frantically on this forum and 2 others, as well as on my own blog.. a few very caring strangers really make a difference when you feel so alone..

as it turns out i drove all over town looking..
i'm new up here to portland and i had no idea it's what's known as a 'dry state'.. i'm from LA where you can buy hard liquor at any grocery store.. here you have to find a state licensed liquor store that is practically like going to the dmv.. haha.. but i guess it was for the best..
by the time i found one i ended up just hiding it away.. never cracked the seal.. i'm gonna keep trying.
for some reason just knowing it's there hidden away helps me.

thanks again,
ghost

[Raynaadi]

Whatever works right? The first step was reaching out, so good for you! Did you say you haven't drank in 2 years?

[(JD)]

I hope you give that away to someone as an early holiday gift...like now??? You don't need the temptation in the house. No one would.

Good for you for reaching out. Do you have a sponsor or a contact for where you live now? Might be something to check into as soon as you can.

TC of yourself! (((hugs)))

[DePressMe]

justaghost, I am sorry I was not here to support you last night. I am super glad that you did not drink. Please send me a PM if you ever need to talk. I understand the urges and how difficult they can be...I hope it has passed for you.

[splitimage]

justaghost,

I'm really glad that you didn't drink. Like everybody else said having some IRL support is really helpful. I couldn't stay sober without it.

I'd be reallly careful about having booze in the house - it makes it that much easier to give in to temptation.

--splitimage