[DePressMe]

Its important for the newcomers to know that serenity does come to those who work for it. Stopping drugging and/or drinking is tough, but there are rewards such as a serenity. I sigh as I write that because knowing peace, finding a calmness in my life has been so incredibly healing. Not to mention life is just so much better when I am not constantly fighting to stay sober. I still have to work a program, but the urges to use and the constant struggle is gone. Not saying I don’t have the occasional urge, but it is no longer an obsession. Today I do have a bit of serenity in my life and it has come to me by staying sober and working my recovery program.

So, how have you found serenity? Or what does serenity mean to you? For the newcomer, how do you envision serenity in your life? How do you think it will feel?

[Raynaadi]

Hmmm....I'm frustrated right now so I'm not too serene at the moment. In times like these though, I say to myself that this too shall pass. And eventually it does. That's all I can say right now...I'm about to post a thread on my frustration.

[splitimage]

I have glimpses of serenity when I meditate or knit and listen to music. Unfortunately the stress of job hunting is kind of ovrewhelming me right now & getting in the way but I'd rather be stressed than drinking myself to oblivion everyday.

--splitimage

[Raynaadi]

I found some serenity now...put on my Paul Potts cd while taking care of laundry.

[chalmette70043]

I cant say that i have ever found it. In everything i've ever done, since my early teens, i've been either drunk or stoned or both or more. And never fully aware of my true feelings.

To me, i guess i picture serenity as a bright, sunshiney day, siting under an umbrella watching and hearing the waves crash onto the beach. With birds in the backgroud singing their songs.

How do i think it will feel? If i ever got there, I think it would probably be so overwhelming i'd spend the entire time crying happy tears.

Thankyou ((((Depressme)))))


chalmette

[DePressMe]

Thats a nice vision chalmette. I hope that some day you reach it. You can get there. Its a struggle, but worth it.

[Mouse_]

Serenity is that place I visit sometimes between lifes other feelings. One has to be careful they dont become hooked on serenity I feel.

[curley]

Dear Chal. Been there, done it, been there done it been there done it. Wow, and what a rollercoaster ride or should I say rides I have been on. Being clean and sober life is real I guess. But is it? I have been on both sides. When you are clean it is great. But it is a lot of work to stay that way. So many times I have chosen the other path, becasue there is not work, there is no pressure. I really think you should try it. At least that way you can make up your mind. Remember, you have to give up friends and places and things. Everything you know has to be left behind. I guess because high has been my life for so long it has been the biggest struggle ever known. You have to want it with all your heart and soul or you cant do it. No matter what anyone tells you. I am 51 Chal. I have been getting high in one form or another since I was 13. Like I said it is the hardest thing to do! YOU HAVE to WANT IT. And if and when you do decide that, we are all here behind you with big cheers and clapping our hands for you. It is a brave brave move. You may find that many other problems will go away. And the problems yo do have will be easier to deal with. But you know what. I love you and I want you to feel good and happy. Try the sober life it may be just what you have been searching for. I love you. Curley

[Raynaadi]

Very well said curley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[chalmette70043]

Thank you Curley and Depressme. I do want to stop drinking. If i could just have the one drink every once in a while i'd be fine. Thing is that dont happen. Cause i cant have just that one. So i need to work at not having any.

I cant see giving up friends, places and things. That just wouldnt work down this way. Im surrounded by it no matter which way you look at it. Drinking is a big part of this culture. From celebrating a babies baptism to going to one of the festivals. So for me, I just gotta face it and deal with it.

Thank ya'll so much for caring and lending your support. Its nice to have a shoulder to lean on.

love ya'll too
chalmette

[DePressMe]

I too thought I would never be able to give up friends and such...but I found out that as I stayed sober a new world slowly evolved...one with much less booze and drugs. There are a lot of sober people out there and things to do that don't involve alcohol. I just thought they did not exist because I was so caught up in the drinking. Besides, my friends kinda gave up on me once I got sober--we just did not have that much in common anymore. Now, i have new friends that I would not trade for the world.

[chalmette70043]

im crying. cause i cant trade my friends . they all i got.

[DePressMe]

hang in there Chalmette...you don't have to do everything at once. Do you feel your friends would be supportive of you not using?

[Raynaadi]

Chalm don't worry about your friends. Our book says that we can go anywhere a free person, that eventually we quit fighting everything, even alcohol. When we are truly ready to be honest open and willing, and when we truly want sobriety, we can go anywhere and see anyone and stay sober. No one can make us drink, just like no one can get us sober.

Just last night I was at my pool league, and the bouncer at the pool hall asked me talk. He's sober, coming up on 8 years, and he moved here just over a year ago. He's struggling, not with staying sober, but with life issues, and needs to plug back into the fellowship. It was awesome that he came to me for help. We went outside for a smoke and this guy walked up who's a regular at the pool hall. He hasn't had a drink in 20 days. He looked shocked when 4 of us out there said we're sober. And we're still going to the pool hall. Granted, it took me awhile to feel comfortable going back to a pool hall, but I had worked my steps and the book says "we absolutely insist on enjoying life" and that we can go anywhere as long as we have a good reason.

There's no point in getting sober to be miserable. That's the beauty of the fellowship of sober people and the steps that have worked for me. I can still associate with old friends but I don't have the urge to drink.

So don't worry so much about the friends. If you truly want to be sober and happy, you will be.

[RiverX]

Hi Chalmette,
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Im surrounded by it no matter which way you look at it. Drinking is a big part of this culture. From celebrating a babies baptism to going to one of the festivals. So for me, I just gotta face it and deal with it.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
I'm not an AA myself, I'm anothe kind of addict, so I know how AA works. What I experienced is that the recovering community gives one another type of community, which is one based on 'spirit', rather than the other type of 'spirits'. Eventually, recovery should help you mix anywhere on earth that you want to be. My journey in recovery has been very, very difficult and painful, but just recently I do feel this ability, just beginning to arrive. though I have a long way to go, and I still dont know if Ill make it if I'm honest. But others do make it, and I think you could. Its a choice, you'll know instinctively whats right for you, you could try going to 6 meetings, and just see whats going on there??

best wishes,

river.

[RiverX]

Its quite funny, we all seemed to have answered at the same time!
And did anyone hear this story?:
An AA on an airoplane, desperate for a drink, he asks the stewardess to make this announcement: "are there any friends of Bill W. on the plane? ...... there were, and they had a meeting there and then, he stayed sober.
all this makes me feel emotional,

(how's that for community!)

river

[Raynaadi]

Someone shared at my homegroup that they were in an airport on a layover and started craving a drink. They found a red phone and asked any friends of Bill W. to please come to that area. About 5 minutes later, 2 people came and all 3 were strangers. They all stayed sober that day.

[DePressMe]

Chalmette, When I quit drinking my boyfriend drank and I did not have to give him up in order to get sober. At first he did not drink around me--that helped. Of course he is an alcoholic so that did not last very long--but that is another story. He continued to drink while I stayed sober, but eventually he decided to quit too. What I am trying to say, is that you don't have to give everybody up who drinks. Just talk with them and maybe do things that don't involve alcohol.

[chalmette70043]

((((((Depressme))))))))
(((((((((Rayna))))))))
((((((((River X)))))))))

You make me feel better. Thank you.

My friends would be supportive of me not drinkin. As far as talking to me about it when they are sober and when they are drinknig not pushing it in my face to have one. But i know me not drinkin is not going to stop them from drinking.
A few months back when i frist decided to stop, we all got togther for a boil and i didnt drink. They all asked me why i wasnt drinking. I told them i didnt want to anymore, that im tired of getting drunk every day then feeling like %#@&#! from it. They pretty much all told me they feel the same way, but that its easier to drink and forget. And i full heartedly know what they mean.
Tara even told me, 'ya never know, you might just start a chain reaction in this family with you quitting.'

What are some of the books ya'll talk about? I'd like to get one to read.

Maybe i will run into some sober people down here in Chalmette. And make some new friends.

Hugs to ya'll and thank you.

[DePressMe]

The Zen of Recovery by Mel Ash.

It is an explanation of recovery and the 12 steps from the perspective of a Zen teacher. I don't go to AA, but I use a version of the steps in my own recovery program. You don't have to go to AA to appreciate the book and his explanations of the steps. I found his book very helpful and enlightening.