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Smile Jul 24, 2018 at 06:23 PM
  #241
I am pretending to diet. eating and drinking freely.
not going to lose weight this way. Bizi's thread:
hubby is cooking tonight. an avocado stuffed with white cheddar cheese then wrapped in hamburger and then wrapped in bacon. they are huge! He put them on the grill and are cooking as I write. Bizi's thread:
For lunch I had a stuffed bell pepper, because the shrimp was way to salty I returned it to the kitchen at sandras...Swiss chard and fruit salad was lunch. so very good. hubby joined me.
During the summer it is so nice to have him join me for lunch. Bizi's thread:
Work day went well.
so good day.
bizi

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PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
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bizi
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Unhappy Jul 24, 2018 at 11:31 PM
  #242
I drank too much...went to bed/passed out early before washing my face or taking my meds.
woke up at 10;40 and took night meds/washed face and took 4 tums as my tummy is not too hot.
tried to drink 2 glasses of water but felt like that was a bad idea on my queasy stomach. I hope I don't end up getting sick.
I don't think it was the quantity of alcohol that I drank it was the timing.
I drank strong beers fast, in a short amount of time.

sigh
bizi
I thanked hubby for dinner. I hardly remember eating it.
I do remember it was delicious...I ate the whole thing, hubby did not.

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jul 25, 2018 at 08:39 AM
  #243
My thinking is off. It is hard to explain.
Admitting to myself that I am an alcoholic....some how I am going to prove it.
And just drink as much as I can The drinks that I drink are high alcohol content, that is where I got into trouble.
My thinking is wrong.
it is like "yes I can drink because I am an alcoholic"....like I am giving myself permission to drink.
Does that make any sense?
bizi

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
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1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
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multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
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ArchieAus
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Default Jul 25, 2018 at 03:12 PM
  #244
Willpower is not limitless , it's a resource which can run low . Once it does your brains can justify to us any desicion we decide on .
That's the reality , if it wasn't we would all be the people we decide to be .
Yes , I still follow your thread . Because your from the Deep South it brings romantic images of you strolling around wearing a bonnet and carrying a parasol ..saying things like " I do declare " .. yep , I know it's 2018 and not 1818
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Red face Jul 25, 2018 at 07:39 PM
  #245
That is funny archie!
hope you are well.
bizi

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Unhappy Jul 25, 2018 at 07:49 PM
  #246
chronic substance abuse is my official title on my GP notes.
which is a new way of saying alcoholic.
so I know that I am , it runs in my family.
I come by it honestly.
That is what my sister has said.
I just thought that my bipolar was out of whack.
guess I can't blame it on that.
sigh
bizi

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
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Default Jul 25, 2018 at 07:52 PM
  #247
I think most people with addictions are also mentally ill. They are trying to use alcohol or drugs to self-medicate. I think alcohol may help with mania in the short term, but makes things worse in the long term, as it is a depressant.
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Default Jul 26, 2018 at 08:20 AM
  #248
I can totally relate to the "I'm an alcoholic, so I'll drink" line of thinking. I come from a family of alcoholics, and when I first realized that my drinking was a problem, back in 2002, but I just kind of said to myself, "ok, so I'm an alcoholic and that's why I'm drinking, but it's not hurting anyone, so it's ok."

The only regret I have is that I didn't seek help for my drinking in 02 when I first recognized that it's a problem.

Because my drinking got progressively bad, to the point that I lost a really good job.


I've been struggling to maintain sobriety ever since.

Please get help before you ruin your life.

splitimage

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Red face Jul 26, 2018 at 09:20 AM
  #249
split, I am sorry that you lost a good job

and that you struggle with sobriety.
I only drank 2 strong beers last night. so that was better.
bizi
better is better.....

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Jul 26, 2018 at 11:57 PM
  #250
For the past 2 nights we have been cooking together for dinner because I bought the food delivery where they ship you all the ingredients and you prepare the meal. Sun basket is the company. Too expensive regular prices but we used the special deal for your first box. I have already canceled any more boxes.

This particular company uses all organic veggies and fruits.
Yesterdays meal was jerked chicken with a peach, fennel and cabbage salad.
We both liked that and it did not take too long to prepare.
tonight we cooked a steak with a arugula verde sauce for the steak and a side of zuchinni, feta and tomatoes and lime zest salad. WE both enjoyed this meal too. Although the steak was a bit chewy....
Both nights I had 2 beers and stopped even though we had more beers in the fridge, so that was good.
I think I can go with moderation at this point in my life.
Trivia tomorrow night....at whole foods in the bar.

Will see how I do.
Day at a time.
Better is better.
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Smile Jul 27, 2018 at 09:36 AM
  #251
I slept in late today 8;30...I like not having an 8;30 appointment because I hate having to set an alarm. AND I am not a morning person!!!!!

We will have dinner at whole foods tonight.

(it cost us $42 instead of $72 for 6 meals)

Then we have one more meal from the kit. IT is lamb burgers so that will be interesting, we will have that tomorrow night.
I don't have to work tomorrow!...I have billing to do so that is work but I can do that anytime as we don't have any plans for tomorrow as of yet, or I can do it sunday while I do laundry.
Must finish getting ready for work, busy day...I am thankful for my blessings.
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Smile Jul 28, 2018 at 09:06 PM
  #252
WE cooked our last meal tonight:
Moroccan lamb merguez patties with warm carrot salad topped with roasted almond and baharat seasoning.

It was delicious! Bizi's thread:

This was the most involved recipe and was worth the effort.
Too bad we can't afford to do this again. Bizi's thread:

bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Smile Jul 28, 2018 at 09:44 PM
  #253
We started planning the paris part of our trip:
On friday: We have a scheduled arrival time of 11am. After we check into our hotel and have a bite to eat we will go to the Klimt exhibit at 3pm.

Then a nice river cruise to see the Eiffel tower.
After that Hubby wanted to go to a jazz club but I know that I will be too tired...I don't remember sleeping too well on the plane and will be very tired. We will definitely be setting an alarm for the next morning. Remember 2 years ago we forgot and missed/slept a whole day away in italy.Bizi's thread:
WE will go see the dorsey art museum on saturday morning, then after lunch take in the sacre couer(sacred heart church) walking tour with a small group. Then go to the notre dame cathedral and listen to the organ concert at 8pm. Then the jazz club show at 10pm. There are so many jazz clubs...this one in particular (caveau des oubliettes) has a pub main floor (where we can grab dinner) with a small jazz club in the basement that used to be a prison that dates back to the 12th century.

Sunday morning there is this huge art fair that jeff wants to go to so that is the only thing we have planned out so far for sunday.
The temps are going to be low 60's to 50's and 40's at night. I am going to wait and see at the last minute what the temps are supposed to be...may bring a winter coat.

burr!!!

I am glad that we started planning, we leave in 2 months!
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Jul 30, 2018 at 08:48 PM
  #254
I asked my pdoc about baclofen but tonight after a little bit of research I found out that it can induce mania in bipolar patients. and has a common side effect of nausea.
That is a game changer. maybe I will lose weight while becoming manic...
sigh
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jul 31, 2018 at 08:35 AM
  #255
Glad you've started planning your trip - I always feel that's half the fun. Sounds like you've got a great trip planned.
splitimage

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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

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Smile Jul 31, 2018 at 09:13 AM
  #256
Thank you splitimage!
we leave september 27th

Still plenty of time to plan things for prague next.
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Unhappy Jul 31, 2018 at 11:27 PM
  #257
I have not even been trying......
bizi

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Thumbs up Aug 01, 2018 at 05:57 PM
  #258
This is about to turn into the first AF day in quite a while.
If I make it thru dinner then I will go to the gym and walk on the tread mill.
Why must this be so hard????
bizi Bizi's thread: .

made it thru the dinner of pesto chicken with turnips, hubby cooked. It was delicious!
letting my food digest for a while then head to the planet fitness for some tred mill action watch some tv to make the time go by, I like to watch the cooking channel. Then use the hydro bed for a 10 minute water massage all of the pressure with out the wetness!
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.






Last edited by bizi; Aug 01, 2018 at 06:48 PM..
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Thumbs up Aug 01, 2018 at 11:25 PM
  #259
I made it 3.2 miles on the tred mill and 10 minutes on the hydro bed.
survived day 1.
bizi Bizi's thread:

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Aug 02, 2018 at 06:01 AM
  #260
Dinner sounds delicious. Good for you for going to the gym. And well done on having an AF day.

splitimage

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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

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