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Red face Jan 16, 2019 at 08:31 PM
  #501
I think you are right guiness.
I have said before that I think my bipolar is off when I drink like a fish.
But then I think I am an alcoholic.
bizi

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Red face Jan 16, 2019 at 11:12 PM
  #502
This evening, I announced at 7:30 pm that I was going to an AA meeting.
Jeff said Why?
I said why do you think?
He yelled back "you are not an alcoholic".
I told him he was in denial.
and out the door I went.
It was held in the meeting room at a near by church. There were a lot of cars in the parking lot, people every where.
I wondered if they were having church services.
I filed in with everyone and sort of asked a young woman, Heidi, if this was the AA meeting and she said yes. She invited me to sit next to her.
Wow.
There were over 100 people, I counted them.
This was my 2nd meeting of AA. the first one was a couple of years ago at a different location...there were less than a dozen people and they made me speak.
I did not like that at all.
So this evening I could just sit and watch and listen.
It was very religious. The meeting lasted an hour and there was much discussion about praying and giving the power up to God.
For this I felt very uncomfortable. At the end of the meeting we all got up in a circle and holding hands prayed the "The Lords prayer".
I came home and told Jeff of the hundred people and he was just as surprised as I was.
How is that for avoiding the gym!

bizi

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jan 17, 2019 at 06:51 AM
  #503
Bizi,

Good for you for attending an AA meeting. That took courage, and I'm glad no one forced you to talk.

The advice I received when I first went to AA, was to go to 5 different meetings before making up my mind whether or not it was for me, since as you've already discovered they can all be quite different from each other. Some groups really stress the God aspects while others barely mention God at all.

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Smile Jan 17, 2019 at 08:58 AM
  #504
I liked the big meeting because I "could" get lost in the crowd.
I will attend again. Just at this meeting....I will not be doing the steps though.
thanks for your support!
bizi

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
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multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Jan 17, 2019 at 01:22 PM
  #505
I am not really interested in doing the 12 steps. I just wanted to feel a part of something greater than myself.
It was amazing to see that many normal looking people in the room, like me I suppose.
This affects all sorts of people yes there were some people there that were sketchy, a third of them were woman.
Alot of them court ordered perhaps due to run ins with the law.
I will try to sit by some one else next week when/if I go again.
Is it wrong to go and not want to do their 12 steps?
bizi

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jan 17, 2019 at 08:47 PM
  #506
I just registered with WFS. women for sobriety.
Am awaiting approval. They have a chat room that I am interested in.
It sounds really good.
Very much affirming....
I think that religion is not their basis.
We will see. Some cities have person to person meetings, we don't.
Maybe this will be the forum for me????
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jan 18, 2019 at 10:55 AM
  #507
Bizi,

I really like women for sobriety. It's my primary program. I've never done chat, but find the on-line forum to be quite supportive. If you're interested,after you've checked out the forum,and maybe done some chats, I'd encourage you to order the "Beginners' Bundle" from their on-line store. It has the basics to get you started in working the program.

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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

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Smile Jan 18, 2019 at 11:24 PM
  #508
We used to go to a unitarian church/fellowship years ago.
Really liked it but it was so small and the elders there wanted different things( discussion group)...etc. We dropped out many years ago. The fellowship is still going on, new location.I think I may start to go there again. They meet at 1030am sunday morning.....That is usually the time that jeff and I go out to brunch. So I will have to consider that.
bizi

Thank you for your continued support!

You guys are great!
love bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Smile Jan 20, 2019 at 09:19 AM
  #509
I will go to the UU fellowship this morning. it is 34 Degrees out so will wear long underware and a heavy coat. Might pull out my parka, high to day of 49. It was so windy yesterday!!!! gusts upto 40 MPH. And it was raining the early part of the day.I was wearing a light rain coat and a sweater. burr. My blood has thinned and I hate cold temps. Living in the deep south we get humidity in the summers.Give me the heat. I got my raynauds in my fingers while reading in the bed the other night. We keep our house around 69 degrees.
I woke up this morning clear headed officially one week sober. Slept great!
Have a great day yall!
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Smile Jan 20, 2019 at 03:38 PM
  #510
Thanks split! I will look at the products if I can find them LOL!

An awesome aspect to the WFS site is that they have a
sub group for women who have mental health challenges too.
So It is the perfect forum for me since I am bipolar.
The whole site is huge and I could have easily gotten lost so am glad to find
the smaller group.
Church this morning was disappointing.
It did not start at 10;30 like we thought...they have a coffee gathering then the services start at 11...it was a business meeting so we left after the brief service, before they started the business aspect. Every one was so friendly, saw a couple of folks that we knew from before.
Jeff the pres and arlene the membership committee leader. Both very nice...
She wanted to know why we left so many years ago. I told her it was personal.
I was not ready to tell her I got overly involved and became manic so had to drop out of everything to come back to some sanity. Just being there was the pull to belong. If jeff and I can get up earlier to have breakfast at the diner than I would go back. I am definitely looking to make more friends as I have few. And the UU's(unitarian universalist) is the closest religion that I do ascribe to.

I did not see my ex girl friend Susan who attends the UU fellowship. I was hoping to see her there. When we got home I texted her...she has not responded. She broke up with me when her hubby divorced her...Paul is my Hubbys best friend. She is the first person to ever call me an alcoholic, not to my face but to her daughter who mentioned it. I was horrifide!....I told her that I have a drinking problem. I was in denial back then. This past year I have tried moderation and that does not work for me. I can't drink just one.

Lunch consisted of 3 scrambled eggs with spinach and a side of more spinach and smoked sausage. Cut every thing up and made my own scrambler! I put some hot sauce on it and was delicious!
Jeff just had a bloody mary with an egg and some pickled okra as garnishes. I did not even miss the bloody mary.

Jeff just left to watch the new orleans Saints play football with the guys and left with guacamole and a big ribeye steak. I will have left overs for dinner tonight. Then we are going to a birthday party for one of jeffs best friends and colleagues. I am supposed to be dieting. I am bringing my orange flavored sparkling waters tonight.
There will be deserts there.
I will try to be careful and choose wisely what desert I will eat.
I love sweets and will allow myself some....I have to make this new life style work right?
Just need to be mindful.
Have a great sunday!
I hear cheers in the back ground outside so one of the neighbors must be watching the game!
I am doing a load of laundry, my uniforms for the week. Maybe I will go to the gym later and walk on the tred mill.
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Smile Jan 20, 2019 at 07:10 PM
  #511
Am proud that I went to the gym and walked almost 3 miles on the tred mill.
Came home and ate eggplant/tomato mousaka which was delicious,
and had 1/2 cup of chicken salad.
finishing up a sparkling orange water with liquid stevia flavored sweetener, makes it taste like a dreamsicle. Yummy
Now am getting ready to go to a NAMI (national alliance of the mentally ill)
support group meeting.
Have not been in a year or so.
Hope to see some familiar faces.
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Smile Jan 20, 2019 at 09:33 PM
  #512
The NAMI support group was smaller than I remembered. There were about 10 of us there. I knew some of them from before when I went. Carolyn is the daughter of one of my clients who past away this last year. She is very nice and gave me her card/phone number. I will call her and, maybe have coffee some time. She doesn't have a car so there is that. The meetings had changed some more structure which is good, small enough that every one shared twice. We talked about self care.
They meet 2 x per month.I will keep going.
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jan 21, 2019 at 06:37 AM
  #513
Glad you got to the gym. I don't think I'd be able to walk 3 miles if my life depended on it.

The NAMI group sounds like it could be a good source of ongoing support. Hope you continue to like it.

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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

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Smile Jan 21, 2019 at 09:02 PM
  #514
I called Carolyn and asked her if she wanted to go to dinner on friday night. And she said yes. ( I have to find other activities to do that don't include drinking). She is a licensed florist and just got a job at the fresh market working 3 days a week.

I thought about it then I called her back and asked her if she would like to go to planet fitness with me(I have the up graded membership to bring a friend for free).
We could walk on the tred mill and then go grab a quick dinner somewhere. She said yes.
Something to do on a friday night....not trivia in their bar!
yeah!
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jan 21, 2019 at 09:20 PM
  #515
I love how positive your posts are.

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Smile Jan 21, 2019 at 11:48 PM
  #516
Thank you for reading my thread! and for your support.
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jan 22, 2019 at 07:18 AM
  #517
That's great that you've found an alternative to trivia for Fri. night. And it's even healthy, which makes it even better.
Hope you have fun with Carolyn.
splitimage

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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

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Smile Jan 22, 2019 at 01:45 PM
  #518
Thank you split! thank you for your support!
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Smile Jan 23, 2019 at 09:04 AM
  #519
Am taking a much needed shower this morning and washing my hair. Bizi's thread:
Got up at 7am and have checked into the forums, now here.
Weighed 183.1 this morning. I have been snacking after dinner.
We went to Jason's deli for dinner last night.
I had this breakfast sandwich called a sammy.
egg/cheese/ham/mayo toasted on a small bread like thing flat and smooth and round.
I put a spicy olive pepper mixture on the sandwich and it was delicious!
ate 1 small ginger bread muffin and a small ice cream cone. No wonder I am not losing weight. Bizi's thread:
I need to be more disciplined.
Jeff and I are watching LOST again for the umpteen time. love it!
I have been drinking hot tea at night while watching and I microwave a bean like pillow for my back ache which seems to be better. Thank goodness as my requires alot of kneeling and getting up and down, bending over etc.
Today makes 10 days AF(this time around).
Tonight is AA. I will ask for a sponsor. Bizi's thread:
I will print out the Women for sobriety statements and go over them with her once I meet up with her. I will ask for a female, hopefully there will be one.
The place was packed over 100 people there, surly there will be a female sponsor available.
It meets at 8pm.
Onto my 3rd cup of coffee....need to hop into the shower!
Hate getting in there, but then I like the hot water until it runs out. So frustrating.
have a great day yall. Bizi's thread:
(((((HUGS))))) to those who need them....
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jan 23, 2019 at 02:44 PM
  #520
Bizi,

I don't want to be a downer on your enthusiasm, but it's my experience that AA and WFS do not coexist all that peacefully. Why do you want a sponsor.. You need to be very clear on that, before you start looking for a sponsor. And the primary purpose in most cases, of a sponsor, is to help you work the 12 steps, and get integrated into AA. An AA sponsor would not be qualified and indeed would probably not be interested in WFS's statements.

Also the 2 programs start at different points. AA insists that you admit you are powerless and that only a higher power can help you stay sober. WFS says it's your personal responsibility to stay sober and improve your life. This difference in philosophy is a pretty big divide.

Some women in WFS do attend AA, for IRL support of being with other people who have the same addiction, but you have to keep the 2 somewhat compartmentalized. At AA don't talk about WFS and on the WFS forums don't talk about AA except tangentally.

If you're serious about exploring WFS as your recovery program, order the beginner's bundle. It has stuff to get you started.

Just my opinion.

splitimage

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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

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