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Member Since Jun 2017
Location: 2nd floor
Posts: 272
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Jun 05, 2019 at 08:09 PM
#681
You are doing great, bizi!
You wonder how to be comfortable in your own skin? You keep doing what you are doing and become the person you want to be. We will all fall in our attempts, but we will win if we get back up and never give up 
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
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Jun 05, 2019 at 11:35 PM
#682
I went to the AA meeting tonight and it was good.
I now have a sponsor. I like her. I will call her tomorrow and set up a meeting. She is old enough to be my mother but that is fine. I asked her if she knew about non dualism and she did. She has a degree in theology. I hope she doesn't try to convert me.....This is an atheist AA group and free thinkers and agnostics. I wonder if she will get me a book to read and if it is different from the "big book"? The 12 steps have been reworded to take out all references to God or a higher power. We have had a lot of rain and more is expected the rest of the week and over the week end. I think I am ready to get better. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
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Jun 06, 2019 at 08:39 PM
#683
This evening I spoke with Carol.
I am meeting her this tuesday at her house at 7:30pm. WE are going to use the big book. She asked me if she could pray for me, silent pause on my part. Then I just said sure if you want to. She said that was the perfect answer. Tolerance is what we strive for, she said. We shall see how it goes. Jeff bought me a book: Under A-rest....Reflections on the twelve steps by Paul Hedderman. I am going to start reading it tonight and this weekend. I think it will help me process the steps. The big book is really religious... so I am not sure this is going to work for me. Any way I will see on tuesday how it goes. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: 2nd floor
Posts: 272
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Jun 07, 2019 at 05:26 AM
#684
Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction
Rational Recovery | Welcome to Rational Recovery
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
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Jun 08, 2019 at 10:46 AM
#685
Went to whole foods Bar last night and over ate. But, I did not drink nor even think about it.Bought raspberries, blue berries, cashews, sunflower seeds, hazel nuts and pistachio nuts ate all of the fruit with hubby and some of the nuts they were on sale and took them home. Then proceed to have "dinner" Order the 2 pattie burger with pepperjack cheese(no bun) with bacon and lettuce, extra tomato and purple onions with spicy brown mustard. It was very very good. Jeff had chicken salad and 3 beers over 3 hours.
I drank water. Scale up this morning...186. Must get going, need to take a shower. Paper work and 2 loads of laundry are on the agenda after chicken and sausage gumbo for lunch. We have a friend coming over for dinner tonight. Jeff is making avocados stuffed with cheese and covered in hamburger and wrapped in bacon on the grill. Have had this before but don't remember . Sigh beer drinking before diners interferes with remembering great meals. Think I will have another quick cup of coffee. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: 2nd floor
Posts: 272
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Jun 08, 2019 at 03:51 PM
#686
bizi...you are simply making good choices for yourself. You have learned from your past experiences.
CONTINUE
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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: 2nd floor
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Jun 08, 2019 at 03:53 PM
#687
Did I mention that you are making good choices for yourself?
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
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Jun 08, 2019 at 03:57 PM
#688
I'm glad you found an AA meeting and a sponsor that you like.
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,849
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Jun 08, 2019 at 04:36 PM
#689
Thank you all for your support!
Hope you are having a good weekend so far. Took a shower and washed my hair, put on clean clothes. Did 2 loads of laundry scrubs hung and put away. other load needs to be folded. Socks and undies. Finished all of my billing. one hour to do more paper work. rewarded my self some computer time because I finished my billing. Talked to my sponsor carol today....changed my time to 8pm on tuesdays. She was fine with that. She told me a bit about herself. I offed none....I tend to talk too much and did not want to do that with her. Asked her about another book that I was reading...she wants to go thru the big book with me, and thinks it is great to read other books and incorporate them. It is everyone's own journey. I will only go to AA once a week, on wednesdays. Maybe I could go to the gym on mondays, Thursdays and saturdays? I want AA to help me do things! Ready to change my ways of thinking and doing. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,849
18 43.8k hugs
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Jun 08, 2019 at 08:37 PM
#690
Survived a cook out without drinking. At the dinner table we talked about certain chain of events being 2 years ago when I thought it was a year ago.
I think that I missed a lot by drinking over the years. My memory is horrible anyway and then on top of that to have missed so much....very sad. We had one guest, Paul rode his bike over here so he could drink and not have to worry about a DUI. One of my friends who I came out to last week asked me how I knew that I was an alcoholic? I told her that When I realized that last friday night I had drank the equivalent of 8 beers and drove home. That was the turning point for me. One week ago today: So June 1st is my day one sober day. I have done 6 weeks off for lent before but never intending to say good bye for good. the longest I have done with out alcohol is 5 1/2 months. But I never wanted to give it up for good. It was always in my mind that I could drink moderately. But I can't do that, I have tried and failed so many times. So I will give up alcohol and reach for a sober life. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,849
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Jun 09, 2019 at 05:10 PM
#691
I feel very proud of myself.
Today after lunch I felt motivated to do some cleaning. I swept all of the laminate floors with a broom then a swifter. Can't believe there was so much cat hair! Did spot cleaning, cat spit up and coffee spills thru out the house. I scrubbed the kitchen floor and wet swiftered it. Out side I shook 2 rugs, they were so dusty/dirty there was a cloud of smoke out there! I think I am done for the day. Great start to cleaning my house! I could never have the motivation while I was drinking... it was all about drinking on sundays starting with bloody marys sunday brunch. Not today! bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,849
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Jun 09, 2019 at 10:28 PM
#692
Quote:
Thank you so much for your continued support. bizi 
__________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2019
Location: USA
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Jun 10, 2019 at 05:35 AM
#693
Quote:
I am glad you stopped drinking for a while. I know I need to focus more on the present. One moment at a time Bizi.  You are doing a lot of things right!
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Moderator
Community Support Team 
Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Jun 10, 2019 at 08:20 AM
#694
Bizi,
Way to go on the cleaning. That's something I struggle with too. Even when I'm not drinking, I have little motivation to clean. So that's on my agenda for today. You're motivating me. splitimage __________________  "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,849
18 43.8k hugs
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Jun 10, 2019 at 09:23 AM
#695
Quote:
Thank you for your support. I am hoping my quitting drinking is for good....not for just a while. I could never just moderate my drinking.... Since I am bipolar I should not be drinking with the meds that I take. Thank you for the reminder one moment at a time. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,849
18 43.8k hugs
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Jun 10, 2019 at 09:27 AM
#696
Quote:
I have not been sleeping well. I know it is because I have been decreasing my meds. Hoping that you get the energy to do some light cleaning today. My house overwhelmed me as there is so much to do. I think if I tackle a room at a time I can do this. break it down into small pieces. I would encourage you to do the same or set a timer for a certain amount of minutes ans only work for that amount. I always try to go to bed with a clean kitchen sink. (((((HUGS))))) and strength for you today. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,849
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Jun 10, 2019 at 09:36 PM
#697
Lunch was amber jack fish and squash, rutabega, chard.
Work was light. Had for dinner: hamburger, avocado, cheese and bacon. and an arugula and brocoli salad with ceasar dressing. After dinner I went to the gym tonight and walked 2.5 miles in 50 minutes and used the hydro message bed as a reward for 10 minutes. very happy about this. eat less move more. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,849
18 43.8k hugs
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Jun 11, 2019 at 08:22 AM
#698
Down 6.6 pounds in 11 days!
water weight I know, but still fun to see.  bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
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Jun 11, 2019 at 10:08 AM
#699
Try to drink lemon water in the early morning and drink green tea whenever you can. Drink a gallon of pure water a day. Eat lots of veggies and stay away from empty calorie junk. Go very light on bread and pasta, but cheat one meal a week!
(Says a guy who gained over a hundred pounds over several years and lost it all in 6 months (me) Keep up the good choices, bizi!!! |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,849
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Jun 11, 2019 at 12:40 PM
#700
Thank you @wonderluster!
I gained 50 in 4 years!!!!!It is shocking to me...a lot of this weight was from drinking delicious dark craft beers! sigh bizi congratulations on your wonderful weight loss!!!!!!! __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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