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Red face Feb 01, 2020 at 01:59 AM
  #881
I watched alison krauss videos, they were great!!!
hattie our cat is dieing from cancer....her wound is terrible we change the dressing every other day. it is gross. I wish hubby would put her down but he said that as long as she is eating her treats then he would not put her down....he is not ready to let go. It is his cat...
sigh
bizi
I am less paranoid today. so that is good.
bizi _

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
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multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 01, 2020 at 08:31 PM
  #882
After lunch I ran some errands, went to the mall and bought some eye liner and lip stick that I ran out of.
then went and go tmy car washed. did some prelimanary scrubbing of the mud that was in the wheel covers sigh
the car looks so much better!
went to super one grocery store and bought a 12 pack of truely sparking hard sodas. I like them!
then went to whole foods, they were out of the coffee beans that we use. organic esppresso beans. sigh
so I went to the bar and drank 3 beers, blue berry sour beers. yum and called home for jeff to preheat the oven for chicken thighs wrapped in bacon and cream cheese. it is 7 ;30 pm and I have not done any charting yet.....sigh
I guess I won't be going to the super bowl party tomorrow.
sigh

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 03, 2020 at 07:39 PM
  #883
Still hypo/manic waiting for my tegretol labs...hoping she raises the dose. I need help!
More paranoia creeping in....sigh
I am literally a ditsy blond!!!!!
my attention span is very short.
Driving is so hard right now....everything "needs" to be looked at.....
I am making assumptions about things that are wrong!
I will have dinner tonight with hubby meat loaf....
Will start to try to get caught up in charting.
sigh
will put the grateful dead music on again as that always helps me focus.
I am sleeping good so that is good!
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 04, 2020 at 12:04 AM
  #884
I have finished 2 weeks of charting (many errors found and corrected...sigh)
5 1/2 weeks left.....
Drinking in the evening is helping me focus....I know self medicating.....
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 08, 2020 at 01:20 AM
  #885
I have taken 5,000 units of vit D3 for many years and my levels have been good 50-60 which is great!
Until this last wellness exam. it was 37!
so she has me taking 10,000 daily for the remainder of my bottle.

This past year...my blood work has been off.
elevated blood calcium - discontinued both calcium supplements and magnesium, now normal

elevated kidney tests now normal
elevated thyroid test, now normal...that is from the lithium

and now the vit D level

That is a lot of vit d to be taking...need to look up toxicity signs symptoms.

weird.
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Unhappy Feb 10, 2020 at 12:29 AM
  #886
picked up some anti anxiety supplements today.
terry naturally makes them
they are called anxiocalm take 2 before bed.
made from the purple cone flower.
I will try them instead of the melatonin.

I am still picking...sigh
did not get the christmas trees down today....
my drinking is up....

sigh

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Feb 10, 2020 at 10:14 AM
  #887
I actually accidentally read one of your old posts last night (I think one from 2018) about your internet addiction and it causing your hypomania moods and that describes me to a t! Going from forum to forum to FB and other social media and back and forth and so on. And yes, it definitely fuels my moods and obsessions. Just an observation. Hope you're hanging in there and today looks better for you! <3
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Red face Feb 10, 2020 at 10:27 AM
  #888
Yes I have many addictions, alcohol, internet, food, skin picking....
beside work these take up my day. these are my hobbies!

if you can call them that.
hope you have a good day too.
bizi

the supplement did not work so got up at 1;30am

and took a precious 1mg of klonipin then slept like a charm.

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Unhappy Feb 11, 2020 at 11:52 PM
  #889
I need to get back into therapy again.
The last time I was there it was discovered

that my job carries/feeds into my excoriation disorder.
Like wise with me, I am obsessed with picking at my cuticles

until they bleed. Sometimes This is like that when I do my clients feet.

I will pick too much and they say ow! It will snap me out

of my trance and I will quickly finish up. I am sure I have lost clients for this reason.
I need to lighten up and be less serious.
Now that I am aware of it I think I am doing better.

But I have to be vigilant!
I am using a heavy lotion on my hands and fingers and cuticles at night when going to bed to soften the dry areas on my cuticles, it seems to be helping.
sigh
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 13, 2020 at 12:27 AM
  #890
We split fahitas tonight at el paso and saved some money. drinks were half off too. Me thinking about saving money is a good sign.

I am getting to bed earlier tonight.
Made myself do all of my night routine that I had not been doing.

Shower first thing in the morning. Have to I, am a fright!

I might even look at my nutrition news letter that I have ignored for months 2-3 months behind. and it is only 8 pages!
My picking has been so bad lately, I thought the NAC was helping but not lately. I have a couple artificial tips on my nails and they need attention so I cut them back and filed all of the dry skin/cuticles.
and even gave my hands and nails a sugar scrub treatment that I got free from bath and body works when I bought the parafin cream for my hands from the gift card that was given to me by my brother in law.my hands look so much better with the attention!
good.

heading for bed.
bizi
I got ahold of robin my therapist and see her next week,

thank goodness!

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 16, 2020 at 04:55 PM
  #891
I was still awake at 4;18 last night so got up and took a klonipin and wrote a note to jeff to have brunch with out me. I did get up earlier than I would have liked just because. Got up at 11am this morning, We were able to go to brunch together and I had a BELT sandwich on rye it was delicious!

I will get my CBD tincture, feeling a little illegal about it. Bought it from a friend who bought it from a supplier directly at a discounted price because he is disabled......tomorrow so am looking forward to trying that. I am hoping it acts like my klonipin so I won't have to take that.

Need to do 2 loads of laundry, paperwork, my little desk is covered with it, and take down the christmas trees.
Better get back to work, I can see a bit more table top!
bizi ______

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 17, 2020 at 12:07 AM
  #892
My friend told me that my order of CBD just came in and I will have it by noon monday! after I get my blood draw for my tegretol level.
I am so hoping it will work like klonipin! Fingers crossed!!!!!!!

I am a bit better tonight.
took down the christmas decorations! finally. Trees are still up though, just undecorated them.

Hubby will put them up in the attic above the car port. His back is bothering him so that may be a few days of sitting in the middle of the room in boxes.
plus 2 loads of laundry...
a tiny bit of paper work for work so it was a productive day.
Took some flowers and a card to a friend who lost her dog, she put him down....he was in kidney failure from diabetes. 13 years old been sickly for years....glad that she has another dog to love too though Mocha.
So I am really getting ready for bed soon...need to eat some peanut butter. Maybe I will get a jar to keep in my bathroom cupboard? Since I am having it nightly now, seems to work great! no more heart burn from the tegretol!!!!
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 18, 2020 at 10:10 PM
  #893
the CBD was ok I think
I slept thru the night and got up after 15 minutes after shutting the alarm off.
Jeff is sick. cold fever he went to lay down around 8pm
he was resting when I got home.

I have been so hot....and sweaty!
my face is wet!
I feel like I have had an on going of nite sweats today. awful
I saw 4 but did not see my last client, rescheduled for the following wednesday.

She sliced her big toe and it is all bandaged up.

I have to get up early tomorrow and have my wind shield replaced from a nasty rock/chip.
they are coming anywhere from 8-10am and the car has to sit for 2 hours I think.
so will resschedule my 10am appointment.
I need to take a shower, tomorrow morning is the day.
My hair looks awful....having it longer I should probably wash it more often....
It is driving me crazy on my neck!
Will try to get to bed earlier tonight....try...geesh!
I baked some salmon and had left over green beans with bacon and almonds
They were delicious!
I need to speak to the manager at sandras.

We bought 3 1/2 pounds of talapia
2 weeks ago. Friday and packaged it up on satuday for

the freezer and it smelled fishy and was tacky!

Jeff bought me a huge butter finger bar! I ate half tonight
it was so good! He knows it is my favorite!
Well I had better sign off.
Thank you for reading!
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 19, 2020 at 11:35 AM
  #894
Just talked to dr. dusty our vet. and we both think it is time to put her down. I called to get support and he was very supportive. I told him that Jeff was not willing to put her down until she was listless.
sigh
Is it wrong for me to just wish should would die?

I am still hypo....yesterday, I discontinued the prevagen just in case it could be activating....my tegretol level is good,
found out yesterday they called With the results and I told her I stopped it and it contributed to the hypomaina. (at least I think so).

Robin canceled my therapy session with her. Have yet to reschedule.
The guy is here putting in my new windshield., don't know how long it will have to sit..
I need to get into the shower after he leaves, that is of course.

If the tegretol doesn't even out my hypomania soon then I will have to go back on lithium...unless you can think of another medication for me to try.
Maybe the geodon is not working anymore?
I heard it was hard to get off of....vraylar is expensive but I think there is a drug card.

sigh
love bizi who is getting into the shower!

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Unhappy Feb 19, 2020 at 11:17 PM
  #895
Lots of stress in my family.
I am hypomanic
hubby, Jeff is sick temp 100.4 sneezing, cold symptoms
bil-unemployed so is able to help with MIL....
mil -sick in hospital, may need stomach surgery, very scary!
Father-sinus infection gettting better but now ....
mother now sick 101 fever, shaking for some reason
they are supposed to fly to florida on saturday.
Sisters mil has colon cancer and and now the flu....poor thing.
sister is a nurse and works at a pediatric office.
she said tonight.../
have you ever read the stephen king book "the stand"
about the plague....the corona virus is like this....
very scary times.
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 20, 2020 at 11:37 PM
  #896
Dr. Orazio,

I just got off the phone with Robin, my therapist.
She encouraged me to write to you.
Since I am not sure if you are in the office on friday mornings...you may not see this until monday morning.
Am seeing Robin monday afternoon at 2 pm. I think I see you March 3rd.

Two weeks ago, I had made an appointment to see her on wednesday but she canceled and could not see me

today so we texted this evening and she helped me feel better.

This has been a frustrating year for me....Wasn't it over a year ago that we tried the abilify and that didn't help.

Back to lamictal and geodon at max doses.
anyway...I really believe I have been unstable for quite some time.
Even the change to lithium(you had suggested vraylar too) I became hypomanic at christmas time in indiana(on lithium)

I was afraid of the geodon with drawl so instead stayed with the geodon.
But now, I do believe the geodon is not working.
I have not had this amount of hypomania since BEFORE I met you.
Took the increased dose of tegretol after dinner tonight and have already stopped the prevagen in case it was activating.

My Hypomania symptoms:
Having problems with time management.(home and work)

spending too much time with clients doing my job....it is taking me longer. Seems so hard to do now.

don't trust my instincts.
questioning my skills

poor boundary issues
being late for everything
on the computer, up too late, after midnight

over sleeping
driving is an issue, very distractable
last week a bit paranoid looking for cop cars
this week trying to focus to not get into a car accident
impatient with other people

hard focusing on routine, takes twice as long to do my night time routine,

getting home late and eating out a lot!
Skipping personal hygiene steps( brushing teeth, washing face, applying night time creams)

Bounced a check because I avoided making a deposit(I never bounce checks!)

Today, I was so angry with you when you did not want to change my anti-psychotic,
like you did not believe me. I don't want to get manic! or worse psychotic!!


I started using CBD at night to help improve my sleep....2 nights and I think I am sleeping better.

Bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 21, 2020 at 12:37 PM
  #897
After sending another email to Dr. Orazio's office, she finally called me.
apparently she had left another phone number...so that was my fault.
anyway...keep taking my meds with the tegretol increase. After that stabilizes then we switch to vraylar.
I emailed robin the note that I sent dr. orazio.

She said I may need to take the day off.
That is good advice.
But, I will try to just do my job and pay attention to what I am doing while driving and working.

That is what I did yesterday.
Try to stick to my routine....

bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 21, 2020 at 11:09 PM
  #898
Maybe I am just borderline?
bizi

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 22, 2020 at 11:15 AM
  #899
MIL is still in the hospital. She is 87 years old and on a walker.
With a suctioning...NG(Nasogastro tube) tube which was horrible putting in....they decompressed her stomach and turned it back she had been blocked 180 degree flip....that was why she was vomiting!
They dislocated her jaw while trying to do the endoscopy. poor thing...it took an expert 7 hours to get it back into place. She was in and out of it partially sedated. Then it popped out of place again so they taped her jaw shut she can barely talk but is loving the ice water that she is allowed to drink now.
I tried to call last night out side of trivia and talked to brian. I don';t know if she can talk on the phone or not. I was given a code to speak to medical staff about her condition when ever I want...not sure I should call or not in my condition.
She likes all of her doctors and is getting good care. Her other son Brian has been visiting often and is looking after her cat. Thank goodness he is unemployed right now and can help her, and he only lives minutes away from her house. The cat gets fed twice a day. The hospital is 25 minutes away though.
I feel so sorry for her.
I have been so wrapped up in my hypomania self....there has been time for little else. The fact that I am insightful means I am not manic right?

Having a second cup of weak coffee. My world feels pretty small....feeling self absorbed.
I was going to see some clients this afternoon...not sure yet.
See how I feel after lunch.
I can do paperwork tomorrow.
Jeff Is off monday thru wed for mardi gras, he has been ill with a
cold and a fever but feels better today. Yesterday I felt like maybe I was coming down with something,
but today I feel pretty good.
Monday is the queens parade and king cake party after that.
I work monday, lite day...see robin at 2pm...I think I have 2 people that day.
Off tuesday for mardi gras. then full day on wednesday and the rest of the week.

hope you guys don't mind me sharing here.
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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bizi happines is a decision
 
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
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Red face Feb 22, 2020 at 05:23 PM
  #900
well I am manic now, I am waiting a call back from the doctor, some one who I have never seen before. Dr. Diggs.

so am having to limit my computer usage. over the next 3 days. I have to get well before wednesday...my next regular work day.
but Jeff may need to leave to go to indy if his mom has surgery.

bizi

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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