[whisperingskye]

I drink a fair bit. But I always maintain I am in control, if I wanted to stop I could, therefore it’s not a problem..right?

The thing is I can’t stop. While I might not get the physical cravings, the shakes and whatever else, I can rarely get through a night without drinking to excess.

When does alcohol become a problem? What makes a person an addict? I don’t drink in the morning. But I can never just have one or two drinks, it’s never enough so I end up drinking until I guess I fall asleep/pass out.

Is this a problem? Am I addicted? How will I know?

[greentires4me]

You have to realize it yourself it’s a problem before anyone else can make that a judgement call.

I use to drink excess all the time worse at night who knows when the morning starts and end these days when your drinking. I never did they blend from one time frame to next.

Well gotta go...

[splitimage]

Only you can decide if you have a problem or not.

But see if you can relate to any of this. It's the definition of addiction my rehab uses.

1. repeated attempts to stop use without success.
2. need increased amounts of the substance to get the same effect (tolerance)
3. Unable to stop use, once started,
4 Continued use despite negative consequences.

There may be a couple of other points, but these are the key points that I remember.

splitimage

[magicalprince]

If you can't get through a night without drinking to excess, that is definitely a problem. If anything just to your health, that will be very bad for your liver over a number of years. There is a recommended number of drinks for healthy adult alcohol consumption, it's around 2 drinks per day I believe. Going over that limit regularly is damaging to your liver.

[UpDownAround]

I am editing down to the statements you made that describe this the clearest to me.

Originally Posted by whisperingskye

I can’t stop.
I can rarely get through a night without drinking to excess.
I can never just have one or two drinks, it’s never enough so I end up drinking until I guess I fall asleep/pass out.

Is this a problem?

IMO, it is problem drinking. It is probably enough to be a physical health concern also. I would suggest talking to your doctor. BTW, I am a problem drinker but it has been a little over 6 months since my last drink. I always felt like I was in control, but I rarely stopped at less than a bottle of wine or equivalent. I was fooling myself; I didn't really have it under control.

[whisperingskye]

Thank you for editing my post like that, it really makes me see just how bad this is...

I don’t know what to do about it. I know deep down it’s an issue and yet I never seem to want to do anything about it.

I know i need to.... where do I begin?

[UpDownAround]

Originally Posted by whisperingskye

Thank you for editing my post like that, it really makes me see just how bad this is...

I don’t know what to do about it. I know deep down it’s an issue and yet I never seem to want to do anything about it.

I know i need to.... where do I begin?

My suggestion of speaking to your doctor is not just an offhand remark. Whether it is your primary or pdoc, they usually have some experience with this and are there to help. I talked to both my primary and pdoc. I was also abusing one of my prescription meds. It was hard to start the conversations, but I am glad I did. All my problems and the feelings I wanted to repress are not magically resolved, but I am making changes to enjoy life more instead of just trying to escape my problems.

[ArchieAus]

Maybe we are all addicted to at least one thing at any time . I have generally swapped one addiction for another over the years . Booze , yes I have a certain dependence on that . I drink every night ...every night . I have 3 or 4 cans of beer every night except Saturday ( Sunday morning is the only day I am not breath tested for alcohol .. any reading above 0.00 in my occupation is a dismissible offence ) . On a Sat night I will have 8 cans or more . Don't think it would be recommended by a Dr or a councillor , but it's how I deal with stress ... I've dealt with it worse ways previously .

[whisperingskye]

I have taken various online tests the past few days and they have all come up with me having a problem/being dependant, todays was the worst.

I know I need to do something about it but at the same time I’m not sure I care enough. I shared the results with my girlfriend, I think she is going to try and help. I just need stronger motivation to change this. It’s hard.

[Bill3]

What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing something about it?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing nothing about it?

(((((whisperingskye)))))

[whisperingskye]

Advantages of doing something:
I will save money
I won’t make such a fool of myself
I will sleep better
I might be less likely to do self destructive things

Disadvantages of doing something:
I will need to find a new coping mechanism

Advantages of doing nothing:
I like alcohol, i like being drunk.

Disadvantages of doing nothing:
It will probably mess up my liver
People judge me and and want me to stop.

[Bill3]

Advantages of doing nothing:
I like alcohol, i like being drunk.

What do you get out of being drunk?

[whisperingskye]

It just helps me deal. Numbs the emotions that I don’t want to feel.

[Bill3]

This is why you said that you would need another coping mechanism if you stopped using this one. It sounds like it seems overwhelming to try to feel and sit with the emotions.

How might your girlfriend be able to help?

[Squaw]

Originally Posted by whisperingskye

It just helps me deal. Numbs the emotions that I don’t want to feel.

I'm not sure what you are dealing with emotionally but, I am currently unable to be with my guy friend because his drinking triggers my PTSD..he gets very loud and controlling. I would LOVE to help him but he won't discuss his problems with me. I asked him about "couple counseling" at first, because I love this man, but now I can't be there for him like I used to be. Please take care and get some professional help..

[DechanDawa]

You may need more education. For instance, did you know that recently the World Health Organization's International Agency for Research on Cancer classified alcohol as a Group 1 carcinogen, citing "convincing evidence" it causes cancer in humans? Yikes. You can go to your local addiction recovery center and take a more precise test to determine the degree of problem drinking you are experiencing, and you can talk about treatment.

Try quitting for six months. Just say it is for six months and after that if you want to continue drinking you will allow yourself to resume. I did that and six months turned into ten years! After ten years of not drinking I went back to social drinking for a few years. Now I don't drink at all because I don't take any substances that might adversely affect my mind or physical health. The only "drug" I take is synthroid for my thyroid. That's it.

I am now struggling with treatment resistant depression. I am developing a management program to strengthen coping skills. Part of my program is to give up all dependent behaviors. Dependent and/or addictive behaviors lead to character weakness.

I did go to AA for 18 months (weekly) when I originally quit alcohol although I have never considered myself an alcoholic. I did have a problem and wanted to not drink...and that's all you have to say at an AA meeting...that you have the desire to continue to not drink. I met a lot of people who I found were very supportive...and...they were fun. I remember a lot of laughs in those meetings! But I didn't really believe in the AA philosophy 100%. Still, going to meetings supported and stabilized me.

I am certainly not a professional but I would venture to say that dependence on alcohol is something that progressively gets worse. Of course we all like our bad habits to some degree. But I came to the conclusion I didn't want to die because of bad habits...so one by one I gave them up. Now I actually enjoy breaking the back of a dependent habit. Right now I am working on quitting online shopping!

Good Luck.

[dsmith]

Really enjoyed reading this thread. Alcohol is something I struggle with. I believe the recommended consumption is no more than 7 drinks / week. The problem is that alcohol is such a great complement to activities such as cooking; also, it helps take the edge off after the stressful day at the office / a night dealing with the drama of 3 kids. I usually have 2-4 drinks on the weeknights, and 6-8 on the weekends.

The problems are:
Medications. I am on several medications - including Lamictal and Wellbutrin, along with Protonix for acid reflux. Drinking greatly reduces the efficacy of these drugs. https://blogs.psychcentral.com/my-me...ngerous-is-it/

Aftermath. I have always had an issue with hangovers. I’m 42 now, but I even felt hangovers in college, when kids are supposed to be “immune” to them. This is both on a physical and mental level. I’m unable to exercise, and have a pounding headache. Further, I am virtually frozen and feel completely dejected. I don’t want to engage with my friends, kids, or wife when in the throes of a hangover.

Potential for Ugliness. I’m typically the “life of the party” when drunk – dancing up a storm, doing impersonations, and telling witty anecdotes and jokes. However, a controversial topic (i.e., politics) or argument is like the proverbial red flag to the bull for me. I’ve ruined or damaged many relationships as a result of these alcohol-induced rants.

I’m congniscent of all these adverse effects of alcohol; yet I feel a compulsive attraction to it, like the moth to the flame. I wouldn’t call myself an “alcoholic,” but I definitely struggle with drinking to excess on occasion. This is highly problematic, given my psychological profile (BP I w/ ADHD). I will continue fighting.

Thanks everyone for sharing!

[stopchewinggum]

The OP sounds like me, when I used to drink. I never got into any trouble, while on alcohol. I didn't have withdrawals. (Then again, I was hardly ever a night without a drink in the first place.) I drank only a few hours before bed to "relax." What started as a few beers turned into half a fifth. Half a fifth turned into a whole fifth, and occasionally, I'd guzzle up a half gallon. (My excuse? Special occasions.)

All of this, by the way, turned into acute inflammation of my organs in my 20s. This condition was so painful that IV dilaudid at the hospital didn't completely work. At the hospital, I also found out that my liver was in bad shape. I was head for cirrhosis sooner rather than later, unless I quit drinking sooner rather than later. That was my wakeup call. I hope the OP doesn't need one of this magnitude.

[whisperingskye]

Originally Posted by Bill3

This is why you said that you would need another coping mechanism if you stopped using this one. It sounds like it seems overwhelming to try to feel and sit with the emotions.

How might your girlfriend be able to help?

She is very supportive, and worries about me. We were gonna discuss what would be best, cutting down and such, although this hasn’t really happened... i should bring it up but at the same time I’m reluctant to.

I know I need to at least cut down, if not stop. I have been drinking ridiculous amounts this week, and actually skipped work today because of it. It’s just more appealing to drink than not drink. And I’m not sure how to change that mindset.

[Bill3]

What would you think of seeking professional help, or going to meetings, or both?

(((((whisperingskye)))))