Drinking

The only thing that works for me these days is drinking every now and then, it is a quick fix for all of my symptoms, and I feel 100 percent normal when I drink, so much do that I want to be tipsy 24/7. Depression, anxiety, intrusive, obsessive, racing thoughts, mood swings, all disappear when I drink. It is the only way I know that works for me. It makes me feel grounded my putting so much things into a halt and being in the moment, being able to use my mind as I'd like. I am self medicating when I drink. It is not right, it is nor healthy, and it won't solve anything in the long run, but it is the only thing that works for me at the moment.

Well, you are employing a short-term solution to some longer-term problems. Yes, it numbs them away—but they are all sitting at the end of your bed waiting for you…. So, you are really only drinking because alcohol doesn’t medicate. As long as you think of Mr. Alcohol as a cure, you’ll want the ‘medicine’ and feel deprived when you can’t have it. This is how Mr. Alcohol get’s his claws into you… you start off thinking you are medicating yourself and too soon—you can’t live with out Mr. Alcohol.

My entire family (for the past 200) years joined up with Mr. Alcohol. It didn’t end well for any of them.

I hope you can get other coping mechanisms before this becomes a lifelong problem.

Do you work? I found one of the biggest factors in me slowing down my alcoholism was getting to a point where I was about to get fired because I was CONSTANTLY making mistakes at work. Another thing was weight gain. Yes, I felt much better when chugging down drinks everyday...but my waist line did not. Even if I tried to limit my food intake to account for alcohol, I would get so intoxicated to a point where I would wake up surrounded by empty food containers I had taken out of the fridge while drunk and eaten.

It started off slow for me too. It was only once and a while and then the more I did it the easier it became to just do it constantly and the more and more I had to drink to feel drunk. I soon went from the person who was tipsy after two glasses of wine to the person who needed at least 4 drinks to even feel buzzed. There were some nights that I actually consumed (even on a work night!) probably close to twenty drinks hoping around from different bars. I always got up for work, but my entire day was spent in misery until I could go home and drink again to ease the feelings of being hung over. I was tired, sick, not on point. I just basically sucked.

Another big fear I had was becoming physically dependent on alcohol. The thought of needed to go into an in treatment program terrified me. Not wanting to become a big beer bellied statistic in an inpatient alcohol program scared me straight lol. Not going to lie...it sucked. I craved that warm feeling going down your throat, than sense of calming as the alcohol went through you. It was SOOOO hard to stop the feeling.

I have found certain types of alcohol alleviate many of my symptoms, especially C-PTSD. I am scared to death though because many members of my family are alcoholics and alcohol has taken lives in my family. Therefore, I don't want to use alcohol for relief. Instead, I'll suffer through.


WC

All alcohol does is push the problems to the next time you are sober so naturally a person would then drink all the time to keep continually pushing the problem back so they won't have to deal with it. The problem with this is the mainly complications that arise from such heavy use of alcohol, including liver damage. Another problem is that alcohol is a depressant so over time it can actually worsen the things you were thinking it was fixing! Maybe try giving sobriety a try to see how you can learn to deal with those things without the aid of alcohol! Just a thought, wish all the best in the world to you!

I doubt it is the only thing. I would see a doctor, maybe pdoc, about what's going on. In my case, the real underlying cause was bipolar depression, a diagnosis I had been in denial of for years. Finally accepting it and getting proper treatment made it easier for me to stop drinking. It's been a little over 11 months and it gets easier all the time.

Capac you're starting down a very dark road but you don't realize it yet. Alcohol is so ****ing evil in so many ways but you never see while you're in its grip. The effect you're feeling is because the alcohol is going in and replacing the natural GABA in your nervous system. It goes in and makes you feel good at first and gives you that buzz. But alcohol is a very bad substitute for GABA (and everything else) and does a poor job in its place. And your body is now producing less GABA and takes longer and longer to get back to normal when you're not drinking. That's why you feel worse when the alcohol's not in your system. It's not the life problems or anxiety or any disorders you have, it's the alcohol's effect on you - a simple, yet evil chemical effect. The fact that you think it's the only thing that's working right now is a dead-sure sign it's taking over.

Things are only going to get worse. All your life problems and issues are going to get worse because the alcohol is making them worse while it's fooling you into thinking it's helping you by giving you temporary relief. It's an old, very familiar cycle you're now on. You'll soon be drinking more and more, for more of the day. At the end for me, I was drinking at 8 a.m. and going all day just because I wanted to feel tipsy all day. Sound familiar?

Your body will give out eventually. I hope you don't let it get that far. Listen to others who have been there. Alcohol is pure ****ing evil the only thing it does to us is pull us into a vicious cycle that never, ever ends well.

Capac, I relate totally. It’s awful. I drink two bottles of strong wine everyday. Which I can’t afford. I feel like if I had Xanax or something, I wouldn’t need to drink. Sobriety overwhelms me. I can’t handle “normal”. It’s so hard.

Capac, you say alcohol is the only thing that works, but have you tried other things? As others have said, alcohol is a temporary solution and it is terrible for your mind and body. Have you tried seeing a doc and getting a proper diagnosis and meds that will help? I think there are probably healthier solutions out there for you, but quitting the alcohol won't be easy.