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Old 08-10-2019, 12:43 AM   #831
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Day 5 of not smoking cigarettes. I barely use the nicotine spray at this point because it makes me tired.

I started smoking weed. It makes music sound better, makes me happy, uplifted, euphoric, relaxed and energetic but some strains make me feel unfocused, lazy, couch locked and tired.
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Old 08-10-2019, 05:15 PM   #832
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I want to try smoking pot for insomnia.
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Old 08-10-2019, 08:31 PM   #833
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I want to try smoking pot for insomnia.
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I used to smoke medical marijuana and had a card for the dispensary out here then they closed I still can get medical grade just from an online source. I just choose to stop because I suffer from psychosis. But I would smoke it for insomnia reasons. I had my preferred strains but after it seemed they stop carrying them or growing season wasnít constant I had to try other strains on the side to achieve the same effect.
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Old 08-13-2019, 07:59 PM   #834
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One more day and I'll have 50 days. I'm grateful for recovery
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Old 08-13-2019, 08:21 PM   #835
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Congratulations puzzclar!
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Old 08-14-2019, 02:51 AM   #836
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My moms bipolar friend was talking about how she would take care of me and my sister while my mom was in hospital for breast cancer and was crying and laughing hysterically in intervals. I was wondering why she was in the washroom long beside my room so my mom called her and she left and forgot the line she prepared on the sink with the small bathroom mirror there because she was too drunk. She snorted the line of coke before she left cuz I could see small white flakes left behind. There's a lot of coke in this town. A LOT.

She left before anyone noticed and then me, my mom and my little sister were talking about how she's mentally ill but my mom said that she has responsibility at least a little bit. I mentioned that in order for this to stop happening, people should be educated on drugs and they should be decriminalized.

My mom said that it's natural selection and people will just die off because it's better to not have families deal with the addiction. That really pisses me off because shes basically saying that she would rather have me dead if I continued using. I am a VERY VERY lucky case that I'm still not using heavily like that. I threw my coke and meth away a few months ago. I should have told her that I'd rather she overdose on alcohol so I don't have to worry about her drinking problem anymore??

I was so messed up mentally from my step dads abuse and my mom neglecting me that I was snorting very potent opioids from capsules in the passenger seat while my step dad was driving in the dark. I would get him to pull over to a washroom or mcdonalds where I would snort bath salts.

I know what it's like. But I understand my mom not wanting to be friends with that woman anymore because that's just the way my mom is. If my mom survives breast cancer and doesn't get sudden death from her heart conditions, I'm going to educate her on the brainwashing society puts on drug users and I believe that my mom should support that woman in getting the help that she needs.

There's ways to use coke.. At parties but when you have an addiction like that, you need help and people should be around to support that.

I believe my mom has an excuse to not help her and has to put herself first because she has cancer..

I mean I'm on Vyvanse ffs. That's medicinal speed..

Edit: I talked with my sister and she says I'm just paranoid about my mom wanting me dead so it's ok =]

On another note; I can't stop smoking weed even though I feel better not high. I only like Pineapple Express strain but I'm on the waiting list to get it so all I have is LA Stata and Blue Dream. I don't like those strains. :/
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Old 08-15-2019, 04:55 AM   #837
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My moms bipolar friend was talking about how she would take care of me and my sister while my mom was in hospital for breast cancer and was crying and laughing hysterically in intervals. I was wondering why she was in the washroom long beside my room so my mom called her and she left and forgot the line she prepared on the sink with the small bathroom mirror there because she was too drunk. She snorted the line of coke before she left cuz I could see small white flakes left behind. There's a lot of coke in this town. A LOT.



She left before anyone noticed and then me, my mom and my little sister were talking about how she's mentally ill but my mom said that she has responsibility at least a little bit. I mentioned that in order for this to stop happening, people should be educated on drugs and they should be decriminalized.



My mom said that it's natural selection and people will just die off because it's better to not have families deal with the addiction. That really pisses me off because shes basically saying that she would rather have me dead if I continued using. I am a VERY VERY lucky case that I'm still not using heavily like that. I threw my coke and meth away a few months ago. I should have told her that I'd rather she overdose on alcohol so I don't have to worry about her drinking problem anymore??



I was so messed up mentally from my step dads abuse and my mom neglecting me that I was snorting very potent opioids from capsules in the passenger seat while my step dad was driving in the dark. I would get him to pull over to a washroom or mcdonalds where I would snort bath salts.



I know what it's like. But I understand my mom not wanting to be friends with that woman anymore because that's just the way my mom is. If my mom survives breast cancer and doesn't get sudden death from her heart conditions, I'm going to educate her on the brainwashing society puts on drug users and I believe that my mom should support that woman in getting the help that she needs.



There's ways to use coke.. At parties but when you have an addiction like that, you need help and people should be around to support that.



I believe my mom has an excuse to not help her and has to put herself first because she has cancer..



I mean I'm on Vyvanse ffs. That's medicinal speed..



Edit: I talked with my sister and she says I'm just paranoid about my mom wanting me dead so it's ok =]



On another note; I can't stop smoking weed even though I feel better not high. I only like Pineapple Express strain but I'm on the waiting list to get it so all I have is LA Stata and Blue Dream. I don't like those strains. :/


Have you ever tried strawberry cheesecake or gorilla glue #4 or purple kush or black tuna strains? I have. the purple kush is the only one thatís not a hybrid.

My mom is twisted too she believes every addict should end up dead too and frowns upon it. But when I was drinking she enabled me all the way through she would be very abusive towards me by saying stuff that would make me drink the whole 2-6 of vodka in one day. I was an heavy alcoholic I drank for 18 years of my life I tried lots of drugs on the side in my late teens, early 20s. My dad was the enabler he would give me the money for the booze after awhile I would just lie to get money to drink. I drank secretly for years no one ever knew I was an alcoholic because I functioned so well. I came out one day to my boss when I was living in jasper and said I needed help she laughed at me. I was ready for rehab then but I was just 20 and I didnt stop until I was 30. So 10 years later. (I should mention I start sniffing inhalants when I was 9.)

I have an addictive personality so my addiction to alcohol is still there but I decided to put it on hold for now. Now I shop till I drop elsewhere.
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Old 08-15-2019, 06:03 PM   #838
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greentires4me View Post
Have you ever tried strawberry cheesecake or gorilla glue #4 or purple kush or black tuna strains? I have. the purple kush is the only one thatís not a hybrid.

My mom is twisted too she believes every addict should end up dead too and frowns upon it. But when I was drinking she enabled me all the way through she would be very abusive towards me by saying stuff that would make me drink the whole 2-6 of vodka in one day. I was an heavy alcoholic I drank for 18 years of my life I tried lots of drugs on the side in my late teens, early 20s. My dad was the enabler he would give me the money for the booze after awhile I would just lie to get money to drink. I drank secretly for years no one ever knew I was an alcoholic because I functioned so well. I came out one day to my boss when I was living in jasper and said I needed help she laughed at me. I was ready for rehab then but I was just 20 and I didnt stop until I was 30. So 10 years later. (I should mention I start sniffing inhalants when I was 9.)

I have an addictive personality so my addiction to alcohol is still there but I decided to put it on hold for now. Now I shop till I drop elsewhere.
No I haven't tried those strains. I smoked some LA Strada today and it made me dysphoric, grumpy, sad, down on myself, self blaming and I had negative thinking. I started raising my voice to my dad. When it wore off, I apologized and was able to talk freely again with a personality. So I'm not going to smoke weed anymore until I get the Pineapple Express strain. I'll try other strains too but not now. For now I'm just going to not smoke weed because my mind is cloudy and foggy.

I took 3g of phenibut because I needed to reset my brain. I wish I could just be sober but that's really hard..
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Old 08-18-2019, 08:49 AM   #839
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I hit 10 months sober yesterday. Feeling happy about that.


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As some of you may know, my blog is currently off-line due to some problems at my previous site host. I'm working with my web master to rebuild and get back on-line.
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Old 08-18-2019, 01:17 PM   #840
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I hit 10 months sober yesterday. Feeling happy about that.


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Wtg splitimage! Soon it will be 1 year.
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