Daily Check In #3

😀 Happy Birthday splitimage! 😀

Happy birthday @splitimage!

The Spiritual Consequences of Alcohol Consumption | The Costa Rica News

I can't throw the ketamine away. I don't think I'll buy more though. It's just there. I snort a very low dose of it once or twice a week.

I'm just really sick of drugs. All they did was waste my time and make me fear death more. At one point, they made me lose my self respect.

But psychedelic.. ketamine is.. dissociative.. I'll be honest, If I'm offered a chillax time on the couch in the living room with friends to do shrooms together, I would happily accept. But what that could do to my mental health I don't know..

I believe in you tweaky.

It’s taken me many years to move away from using drugs. In the end I had to accept that although I enjoyed the experiences they had to offer that it just wasn’t conducive to my mental health.

I did try to buy some Cocaine last year but my dealer screwed me over and disappeared with my money. Probably for the best.

It can be hard adjusting to life without drugs. It can seem boring or unfulfilling but there are other normal human experiences out there that can be just as good.

I think it’s also good you can recognise the negative impact drugs can have. Took me a long time to realise that. They really can be self destructive even if you aren’t addicted.

Craving alcohol

I’m craving a life that I am not consumed by thinking about alcohol or opioid medication or weed.

I had kidney stones and the doctor sent me home with morphine. I didn’t abuse it I also didn’t like the way it made me feel. It did take away the pain but made me start to go loopy after awhile. So I stopped taking it. Then on Sunday I fell in my bathroom onto my right shoulder/arm/ elbow. I gave myself a soft tissue injury it hurts like a b itch. They gave me hydromorphine when I was leaving over kill anyone? I have taken like one and i didn’t like the way it made me feel. I used to take it all the time back in the day before opioid crisis was a big deal. I was prescribed it for pain I never over abused it like I did other things. I also wouldn’t drink when I took a pill of it, i was careful. A careful alcoholic is there such a thing?

I am around sorts of drugs all the time everyday even cigarettes and alcohol. But I choose not to give in. You can too tweaky.

Greentires4me,

Well done on not abusing the pain meds. I probably wouldn't be able to stop myself.


I too wish that I could stop thinking about alcohol completely. It's not nearly as bad now, as it was a couple of months ago. But yesterday, I had a really strong craving that it took me a couple of hours to work through.


splitimage

Hugs to everyone and hope you can beat it and get healthy. I’ve had relatives with addictions to alcohol, gambling, opiates. My aunt beat alcoholism.

I opened my sober app it read 1,313 days sober... 3 years 7 months 2 days.

Dang it, I forgot about posting yesterday - today is 601 days...

They found an ovarian cyst, schmorl’s nodes on my spine multiple ones and bone on bone between two vertebrae, as well something with my right lung making it hard for me to breathe. All from the CT scan I am in terrible amount of pain all I wanna is drink and I have the money for it which obviously scares me.

My friend just texted me I need her but she wants to isolate. She doesn’t want me to take it personally then why why the fox sakes did she message me. I am not feeling well at all I need my friends more now then ever before. All this stuff scares me and the hospital is a gong show I talked with a doctor last night who said I was junkie and then a psychiatrist who asked me why I was here and what level of education I had. I spent all the morning in bed in pain finally I took a hydromorphine with gravol. I take them sparingly I am scared like I said but there is no one around to help me out because my friends want to be left alone.

greentires4me,
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience at the hospital. Do they have a patient complaints process?

I totally get the desire to drink. But think about how much sober time you have, and how you've gotten through stuff sober. Take it a minute at a time if you have to.

4 months today. Feels good.

Hey,

I’m doing okay I guess. Getting pretty fed up of drinking and it’s doing no good for my digestive system. Just patiently waiting for my referral to come through. Should be sometime next week.

I’m going to visit my parents over the first weekend of March. I figure I’ll probably manage to get by with just a couple of drinks in the evening. Will be hard but I’m usually better at moderating when I’m staying with them.

I've been struggling with drinking for years. I started drinking around 13, heavily around 15, and constantly at 21. I had periods of sober time in my life tho not many. A few days or weeks here and there. Sometimes 30 days, occasionally 60. Right now I'm over 4 months sober. I don't remember what day I decided it was the time to just lady up and cut the crap already. I was sick of what I was doing. Sick of the person I had become. That was not me!! And now I watch my boyfriend get drunk every day. Yes we met as drinkers and I chose to quit but he tells me he wants to stop too. We argue over it all the time. Not necessarily the booze but how he treats me when he's drunk. It's not fun. But when he's sober.. totally different man. Alcohol is the devil. I used to say this every day waking up with a hangover. Those are gone now. I find my mental clarity is vastly improved since I stopped the drink. I also stopped almost all the psych meds too. I'm no longer foggy headed, sleeping 18 hours a day, depressed, my anxiety has decreased, overall since cutting alcohol and meds out I feel SO much better. My head and emotional state is clearer than it has been in years. I see my psychiatrist on Thursday. First time since I've stopped drinking and cut the meds. I wonder if she will register as much improvement as I feel? I took my Cna recertification test on February 14 and am waiting for the results. Major anxiety happening over that!! But I do feel I'm ready to head back to work and rejoin society.

Congratulations Calypso2632!!

I'm having major cravings to drink right now - won't, there are advantages to being flat broke, and on antabuse, but it's driving me a bit nuts. I think it's because I'm tapering off clonazepam which feels a bit like alcohol withdrawal and cross tapering onto valium, which feels a bit too much like alcohol. In short my brain is a bit of a chemical mess at the moment. Plus I'll have money again on Thurs., and Fri. as that's when I get my disability cheque and the money from my brother. So that's future opportunity so my brain is trying to convince me to stop the antabuse. Not going to happen.

I've made it this far. I'm determined not to go backwards. I just wish I could unscrew the top of my head, pull out my brain and give it a good rinse in cold water to hopefully knock some sense into it.

splitimage

I drank a glass of wine then snorted ketamine and threw up then went to sleep

Now I'm depressed