Daily Check In #3

I keep getting bad news my doctor thinks I might have MS. That would explain the falls I have been having over the last several months though.

Today is weird it’s 1414days sober.

split, congratulations on you sobriety!!!!

Greentires, I'm so sorry about the possible MS diagnosis. I'd find that very scary. When will you have followup to find out for sure?

And congratulations on the interesting numeric milestone.

splitimage

Well he’s referring me to a different doctor whom ever it may be. Hopefully soon the sooner the better.

I applied for a position working as a breakfast cook at my building. Hopefully I can pull it off.

Yes 1414 days is quite cool on my books.

Doing well.. Still alive..

Regretted flushing my psychedelics so I bought more. Psilacetin, metocin and the God molecule (Toad venom).. Snorted 10mg psilacetin which is 1g shroom.. Had a little trip no biggy.. At least it's not methcokecrackheroin.. Took a xanax to stop the trip early.. But I'm not taking xanax all the time. I flushed 140 of them so I'd run out early..

Took 5mg THC today and it didn't get me high for some reason.. No weird borderline psychosis thoughts..

Drank 3 hard iced teas last night and then 3 this morning. I feel like I'm crawling out of my own skin and tired. Went to drink coffee with people today.

Other than that I'm doing good..

I have a pill box where I organize my pills for the day.. Still taking the Vyvanse as prescribed which I'm surprised about..

It's cuz I need it to function and won't abuse it...

PLEASE STOP FLUSHING DOWN YOUR MEDS!!!!!!
just put them into the trash so they don't go into the general water supply.
thank you
bizi

I don't want anyone finding them in the trash because they're very potent and could kill someone.

I can't bring them to the pharmacy to dispose of or I'll get in trouble.

The rats will have to get high. + I don't really care about the general population contaminated with 3 molecules of a drug because everything gets very diluted. The animals won't be affected by my small participation of the tonnes Canadian medical waste at the bottom of the ocean.

This is about ME and my recovery. Not the planet. Many things people do are killing the planet.

5 days... Just got out of IP... Was there 10 days.

Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

This is something that you have control of....stuff tissue paper into the bottle and then use duct tape to conceal the pills. Get my drift.
It is a well documented fact that we should never just flush our meds but so many people do.
sigh
bizi

congratulations on being home.
How are you doing?
(((HUGS))))
bizi

Pretty good. Tried to go to a meeting tonight but got overwhelmed by the amount of stimulation before it started and had to leave. I have a friend staying with me at my house to dilute my mother for a few days. Help ease me back into society, you could say.

I've been irritable, but I think the new antidepressant is making me slightly manic. Just not the fun manic. I'm not depressed and su anymore though, so it's working.

They also changed my antipsychotic medicine, because the old one stopped working for me. I got really psychotic in addition to the su thoughts. That's why I was in the hospital for so long. Kept self harming while there for the first half of the stay. Banging my head and stuff, but I was being honest with the staff about it. The only thing I didn't tell them is that I burned myself, because I was scared they would take away smoke break if they knew.

I should be starting PHP soon, next couple of days hopefully. Waiting on a call back to tell me when to come in. So they can adjust my mood stabilizer at the PHP.

I've got 130 days clean today. Got 4 mos the day I was admitted. I need a meeting, but I also need to take it slow.

My friend should help as a buffer for a lot of stuff. I've got a couple appointments coming up that usually can be a little triggering for me. She's coming with me to one tomorrow, but the one Wednesday is up in the air if she'll be with me right now.

Well, that turned into a book...

Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

Oh the 5 days for for self harm... I thought I posted that in a different thread. I just confused myself...

Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

I don't know what this means...sorry.
hope you are safe.
bizi

I have 131 days clean from substances and 6 days clean from self harm. I mixed up this thread with a different one and put the wrong amount of clean time. In the self injury section, there's a thread for how long it's been, and I thought I was posting there.

I hope that makes more sense.

(It's past midnight now, that's why the numbers are different.)

I was correcting myself because I didn't want y'all to think I had relapsed when I still have the 4 months.

Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

Welcome back childofchaos. I hope you're able to settle back into life, I'm glad you have a friend helping you initially.

Congratulations on the sober time, and stopping the self-injury. I know how hard that is.

splitimage

So in 38 days I will turn 4....Bahaha I mean I will be 4 years sober from alcohol. And it will be several months since I stopped smoking medical cannabis.

It sounds like there is a lot of sobriety here!!! I just wish I could join in on the high numbers of days clean. My goal is for 62 days, but there has been a lot going on and not enough positive things to numb out with.

I'm on day 2, again. I plan on getting rid of my "stash" today, well one at a time. Baby steps. I don't want to have to buy another, and I don't plan on going to where they are sold. But we know how addiction is.

60 days to go. But just one day at a time. I'll get there.

today is day 4 for me. Going to an athiest AA meeting tomorrow. Should be interesting.
bizi

Why do I do this to myself? I'm back to day one this multicultural Counseling class is kicking my butt! Not to mention work stress. I did reach out but it wasn't enough. Back to day 0. Hour 3

Who did you reach out to?
Could you cut back on your work/hours if it is too much right now?
Sorry it is so hard for you right now.

baby steps
You are being hard on your self again....

bizi
(((((HUGS)))))