Daily Check In #3

@bizi
Thanks for asking how I'm doing. I'm ok. Not currently working, I'm still on disability. But I have a job interview for a part time accounting job on Mon. that would be a great way for me to get back into the workforce.

I still have a lot of medical appointments to get through.


I'm going down to my clubhouse, Progress Place, once or twice a week and am enjoying that.

Going to Double Recovery despite it being 12 step based. I like the groups I go to.

splitimage

good luck with the job interview!!!!!
bizi

My mom threw away the heroin that arrived in the mail. I told her about it before it arrived.

I threw away my kratom today.

All I have is psilacetin in a baggy in my wallet for tripping and xanax blotters in a baggy.

I have weed but I realize that I don't like weed so I use CBD instead for anxiety and sleep.

I've been taking too much phenibut (Supplement) so I'm not going to take any for two weeks. It's the only thing that helps with my negative symptoms.

So weed, CBD, psilacetin, phenibut and xanax is all I have. I don't drink anymore so this is my progress right now. Better than having enough drugs on me for personal use to be considered as a drug dealer if I was caught. I'm surprised that I don't have a criminal record and that I'm alive.

So it's all good and it will only get better.

I've been taking my stimulant (Vyvanse) as prescribed every morning for a few months now. I did slip up and take an extra one in the evening three times but that was a month ago.

If you don't think that it's possible for a stimulant addict to eventually take the stimulant as prescribed if he/she needs it then you are mistaken! =]

Not sure if this is the right place to post this but alcohol seems to screw with my mental health and I want to stop using it. What are the best ways you guys have found of stopping alcohol?

At first I replaced it with different drinks like mock tails. I also poured out all my booze and flushed it down the toilet. I am sure the fish got drunk that day.

There is so many things out there that taste better then with booze I found. Of course all trial and error. Making things that taste good is process. Becoming a chemist in your own home of what takes 24hours to ferment instead of making drinks with alcohol that exactly start with an idea and whatever alcohol you have on hand. At first I thought I was still alcoholic making drinks like I did when I drank with an idea. But this was a great idea such a great idea that I was making infused simple syrups and buying ginger ale plus fruit juice. Making wonderful drinks that not only tasted good my friends who would drink alcohol in my presence would ask me if it contained alcohol.

I was also given a sodastream for Christmas and I adore it.

Out of all the drugs, alcohol was the worst on my mental health.

For me quitting alcohol has been a beast. First tried 12 years ago, and I've been on and off sober since. Have had several year long periods of sobriety, with intense relapses in between.

I'd say find a good support group, doesn't have to be AA. Treatment helped me. And find different things to do, that you enjoy doing, to keep busy when you normally would drink.

splitimage

So I threw my psilacetin (Prodrug to psilocin - The active metabolite in magic mushrooms) because I snorted 5mg and had a panic attack during the comedown.

I'm not doing psychedelics anymore. I know what I need to know from them. Maybe in the future like 10-20 years from now but I'm good with the experience that I've had. I'm lucky to have had a psychedelic experience so I'm not a complete atheist anymore.

I've been taking too much phenibut lately and xanax for the panic attack I had last night. I'm scared of getting benzo withdrawal.

I'm gonna smoke CBD flower and took a 50mg CBD capsule. So yeah..

11 months sober today. Find it hard to believe.

splitimage

Good for you split!!!!!!!!
yay!!!!!!
bizi

So this happened today...

Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

Way to go Childofchaos. 8 months is really awesome. Keep up the great work.

splitimage

If addiction isn't a disease then being unhealthy and getting a bunch of diseases like cancer, diabetes and heart disease isn't a disease.

I'm addicted to phenibut..

It's like baclofen, gabapentin, GHB or pregabalin

I'm thinking of taking one or two 750mg capsules instead of three or four. My goal is always to wait two weeks without taking it but I'm not able to do that. It makes me feel better and more normal than any drug I've ever tried. They say it's a supplement but idk about that.

At least I'm not going to take 3-4 capsules and just 1-2. I have enough to last me a year.

Some people take 7-15 capsules a day so it's not really that bad. I'm just catching myself early.

Doing well despite some pretty intense negative things happening to me recently, wow. No drinking bug to speak of. But I put that down to support and love and going to meetings and always looking for a better way to see things. So far so good.

@Desoxyn GhB or Liquid G they call on the streets I have friends who do it. It tastes nasty. not something I ever want to try or use ever in my life for a preferred drug.

I am not addicted to gabapentin but I know people who are. I take it for nerve pain.

Benzos activate GABA-A receptors which causes tolerance and seizures when you stop. GHB, baclofen and phenibut activate GABA-B receptors which is more euphoric but doesn't cause as much tolerance and is easier to get off of so it's not as addictive.

Baclofen is an alcohol withdrawal medication.

I feel much better this morning because I took 1500mg phenibut last night. I can only do this so much and I'm not sure how to withdraw properly but there's a subreddit called "quitting phenibut" and usually people realize when it's too late when they're taking grams per day. I'm only averaging a gram per day so it's not too bad. Idk if I'll ever get as bad as them but I have to be careful. It helps with negative symptoms of schizophrenia which is why I like it.

Pregabalin and gabapentin are for nerve pain but similar to phenibut.

With GHB you need a ml syringe and put 1-2ml into a drink so you don't taste it. I was thinking of buying it but it's a schedule 1 drug and it would just cause me more problems so I'll stay away from it. GBL is tire cleaner and works in 1-2ml as well and is supposed to be better than GHB. Quite interesting I think... They use them as date rape drugs and put them in peoples drinks.

I don't like alcohol (A different solvent that I'm sure you know of) which works on GABA-A receptors like benzos but I don't like benzos either. Something about the GABA-B receptors that I like.

Thread's been pretty quiet, so I'm just wondering how people are doing. I'm coming up on a year and feel good about that.


splitimage