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Red face Jan 08, 2020 at 11:32 AM
  #961
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Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus View Post
I hate drinking, yet I continue to drink.

I think everyone who has quit drinking is a god of sorts, and I am an awful person for not being able to stop.

I don't know why I think this way, but I do.

My therapist even says I don't have a drinking problem. I think she's wrong. I don't care if she doesn't think I have a drinking problem. I don't want to drink. Nobody is pouring the alcohol down my throat involuntarily. It's me who is doing it.

I guess I know that I want to stop. I always look to others to help me to quit. I need to look to myself to figure out how to stop, though.

The reason why I doubt it is because others tell me they have no idea why I think I have a drinking problem. I get angry because they don't know my real struggle. They say I am obsessive, etc., but that is not so. I don't want to drink alcohol. I have such unresolved internal conflicts that I cannot trust myself.
Have you read any books about quitting?
There are many good ones. You realize the drinking like this is an OCD type trait. So yes obsession is involved. Keep posting! I am listening.
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Default Jan 08, 2020 at 01:10 PM
  #962
A friend from PHP had to go back IP because he relapsed hard. He went back in yesterday... I've been having cravings lately. It's scary cuz part of me just want to go get some and do it. Like why the hell not? What's the point? I have 58 days today. My sober date is 11/11/19.

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Default Jan 08, 2020 at 04:29 PM
  #963
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Originally Posted by bizi View Post
Have you read any books about quitting?
There are many good ones. You realize the drinking like this is an OCD type trait. So yes, obsession is involved. Keep posting! I am listening.
bizi
Thank you for validating how I'm feeling.

I've read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace.

I need to sit down with the AA Big Book, too.

Are there any books you would recommend?
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Smile Jan 09, 2020 at 12:21 AM
  #964
I was going to recommend naked mind...I have yet to finish....allan carrs the easy way to quit drinking...did not like it.
There are many books though I have not read many.
I am sorry about your friend.
58 days is great!
pat yourself on the back.
(((((HUGS)))))))
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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
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multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jan 12, 2020 at 03:34 PM
  #965
I have strung together three days sober now -- what has helped me these days is drinking other substitute drinks that are not alcoholic. I like tea, kombucha (the non-alcoholic kind), and coffee.
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Smile Jan 12, 2020 at 11:32 PM
  #966
This is great.
I drink zevia soft drinks.... and chew a lot of spry gum. It keeps my mouth busy.
bizi.

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
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1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
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PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jan 16, 2020 at 05:51 PM
  #967
I am feeling better about not using drugs or alcohol. I mean, I have been sober from weed for 305 days now, and a week for drinking. I feel more confident in my decision not to use.
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Default Jan 17, 2020 at 12:25 AM
  #968
you are doing great!

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zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jan 18, 2020 at 07:21 AM
  #969
1,651 days sober from alcohol. I talked to someone who thought they could save someone in their addiction as they had been clean and sober 2 years 3 months. I don’t see how you save someone being sober yourself and make someone become sober because sobriety is a choice.

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Default Jan 18, 2020 at 08:47 AM
  #970
I agree greentires. You can't make anyone else sober. You can support them, but bottom line it's individual choice and you need to really want and choose to be sober.

15 months yesterday. Happy about that.
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Default Jan 18, 2020 at 07:45 PM
  #971
I'm craving cocaine REALLY BAD. I don't know what to do. My moms friend is doing cocaine. It triggered me to want cocaine.
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Default Jan 18, 2020 at 10:14 PM
  #972
Cocaine craving went away. I drank coffee and chatted with friends about it. That helped.
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Default Jan 19, 2020 at 08:45 AM
  #973
Good for you for not giving in and using Desoxyn. Talking to your friends sounds like a good idea. Keep it up.

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Default Jan 19, 2020 at 09:03 PM
  #974
Not okay... In the middle of a relapse...

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Default Jan 20, 2020 at 07:04 AM
  #975
((((childofchaos)))))

I'm sorry. Please stop as soon as you can. I care.
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Red face Jan 20, 2020 at 09:27 AM
  #976
I am sorry that you are having a relapse.
Be careful of yourself.
Don't want to hurt yourself or some one else.
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PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jan 23, 2020 at 08:58 AM
  #977
Two days.

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Default Jan 23, 2020 at 01:59 PM
  #978
I can't take it anymore. There's going to be a lot of suffering in my life and it's going to get worse before it gets better. Much worse.
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Red face Jan 23, 2020 at 10:49 PM
  #979
try to control yourself.
I know it is hard but I believe you can do it.
bizi

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Jan 25, 2020 at 03:19 AM
  #980
Drank one beer tonight and silently reproaching myself for it. I think I'm just obsessive... I don't know...
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