advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
BonsaiGuy
Member
 
BonsaiGuy's Avatar
BonsaiGuy is loving life!
 
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: Ohio
Posts: 184
5 yr Member
193 hugs
given
Help Jan 25, 2019 at 08:29 AM
  #1
I have seen this technique work wonders for many folks in recovery from substance addictions. I have also seen this work for those in recovery from other issues that they are working on. The core of the exercise revolves around the idea of "owning your recovery" and "creating a custom recovery program".

For almost a decade, I attempted to stop using drugs and alcohol. I tried various recovery programs (AA,NA, SMART), I went to rehab twice, tried to quit cold turkey, tried replacing one thing for another, getting a sponsor, going down various spiritual paths... Most of these approaches had elements that were effective and worked pretty well, but for me, each program had gaps that I would exploit and that would lead me back to the drugs and alcohol.

Now, I understand that I have not earned a significant amount of clean time, so take my advice with a grain of salt. However, My program this time feels much different then than my past attempts. Here's why...

I have taken suggestions and elements from each of the programs listed above and combined them to make my own custom recovery program that works for me. The most important elements of my custom recovery program are listed below...
  • Community - I still will attend various recovery meetings. I choose which meeting to go to by the content and quality of the discussion group. I do not limit myself by picking one organization. This allows me to feel at home with certain groups/ meeting without limiting myself to committing to only one 12-Step program.
  • Medication/ Mental Health - Most hard-line recovery groups will claim that "you aren't clean if you are on ANY medications- no matter what". I disagree with this entirely and leave that poorly constructed advice far behind me. I believe it is debilitating and does nothing to help with someones recovery, especially those who could really benefit from effective prescribing of beneficial medication. Addiction can involve self-medicating mental illness. If this aspect is not dealt with, relapse is imminent. If medication helps you then use it.
  • Routine - This is an element of most recovery programs, however, sometimes a cookie cutter routine doesn't work for everyone. I have always heard the "go to meetings, get a sponsor, read the (fill in the blank)", however, most of those I know with decades of clean time do not limit themselves by following this advice. They follow what works for them . Most groups look at this as "an addict being stubborn"or "unwilling to commit to the program". I believe this is hogwash. Routines should be as unique as the individual. Create a routine that works for you, not one that you have to struggle to keep.
  • Making Goals - Creating goals for your recovery is essential to staying on an effective and rewarding path. Sometimes that will conflict with the "one day at a time" mentality of 12-Step programs. This is perfectly fine! You should be looking to achieve things that you want and don't have! You should create milestones and work to better yourself. I have seen this work wonders for many in recovery. Keep your eye on the prize!
  • Education - Learn about your condition! Read recovery literature, but don't limit yourself. I read the AA Big Book, The NA Basic Text, and many many other examples of recovery literature. Knowledge is power and I am committing to empower myself with education. There is no single "right way".
  • Honesty- This aspect of my program is last on the list, but is probably the most important. I strive to practice rigorous honesty in every interaction in my life. Am I perfect at this? Absolutely not! However, it is a great thing to strive for and it has a very impactful impact on my life and relationships. I have lied and created painful situations to mostly everyone in my life. Although I am unable to take those things back, I can sure practice it now.
Overall, and I can not stress this enough, this is my recovery program. It's what works for me. I take suggestions with everything I experience, and I leave behind the things that don't work for me. I got tired of hearing "you're not doing it right".

If you are staying clean and sober then you are doing it right!

I simply wanted to pass on my thoughts and some of the things that I have learned to be effective on my road to recovery. If something different works for you, than I am glad it does! In fact, I would like to hear what works for you, because chances are it could help me or someone else.

__________________
Recovering from the past. Growing in the present. Planting seeds for the future.

Dx: Bi-Polar II, PTSD, ADHD, SUD
Rx: Methadone 100mg, Lamictal 300mg, Abilify 10mg, Buspar 40mg, Clonadine 0.3mg, Trazodone 50mg, Nexium 20mg, Allegra 180mg
BonsaiGuy is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi, possum220, Stef447
 
Thanks for this!
bizi, Stef447

advertisement
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 25, 2019 at 02:54 PM
  #2
Hey Bonsaiguy I have 6 years of continuous sobriety so I hope your journey is as fulfilling as mine has been, and I loved this post.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BonsaiGuy View Post
[LIST][*]Community - I still will attend various recovery meetings. I choose which meeting to go to by the content and quality of the discussion group. I do not limit myself by picking one organization. This allows me to feel at home with certain groups/ meeting without limiting myself to committing to only one 12-Step program.
I have done that too. My primary problem was alcohol so I do AA but I am super plugged in to my recovery community and have been to NA meetings as well. [list]
Quote:
  • Medication/ Mental Health - Most hard-line recovery groups will claim that "you aren't clean if you are on ANY medications- no matter what". I disagree with this entirely and leave that poorly constructed advice far behind me. I believe it is debilitating and does nothing to help with someones recovery, especially those who could really benefit from effective prescribing of beneficial medication. Addiction can involve self-medicating mental illness. If this aspect is not dealt with, relapse is imminent. If medication helps you then use it.
LET me tell you that nothing, NOTHING makes me more angry than this right here. If you are familiar with recovery literature it says over and over "we are not doctors" and "there are those of us with grave mental disorders who do recover if we have the capacity to be honest". No where in any of the literature does it say no medication, no controlled substances etc. Hell if you go all the way back to 1935 they used to prescribe sedatives to ease withdrawal. I take adderall and I have for like 14 years. My sponsor knows and some close friends know. I just had three surgeries in 1 year and every time I took painkillers for 5 days. We are not put on this earth to suffer or be a martyr. You do not get the AA/NA award of the year for suffering physical or mental pain-and preaching to everyone about it. I cant stand when someone gets on their anti-med high horse blaming "the doctors" for prescribing them medication that they abused. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
Quote:
  • Routine - This is an element of most recovery programs, however, sometimes a cookie cutter routine doesn't work for everyone. I have always heard the "go to meetings, get a sponsor, read the (fill in the blank)", however, most of those I know with decades of clean time do not limit themselves by following this advice. They follow what works for them . Most groups look at this as "an addict being stubborn"or "unwilling to commit to the program". I believe this is hogwash. Routines should be as unique as the individual. Create a routine that works for you, not one that you have to struggle to keep.
yes. My morning routine is super rigid, I call myself the sleep nazi with how I solved my insomnia. its probably more rigid than most of those blowhards blabbing about what you quoted above but it worked for me. I do think a sponsor is super important though.
[quote]
  • Making Goals - Creating goals for your recovery is essential to staying on an effective and rewarding path. Sometimes that will conflict with the "one day at a time" mentality of 12-Step programs. This is perfectly fine! You should be looking to achieve things that you want and don't have! You should create milestones and work to better yourself. I have seen this work wonders for many in recovery. Keep your eye on the prize!
I have to be careful with goals. I have the disease of more sometimes and will have lists and lists of goals. Guess what, they become overwhelming and I procrastinate. So for me, one day at a time works.
  • Education - Learn about your condition! Read recovery literature, but don't limit yourself. I read the AA Big Book, The NA Basic Text, and many many other examples of recovery literature. Knowledge is power and I am committing to empower myself with education. There is no single "right way".

Quote:
  • Honesty- This aspect of my program is last on the list, but is probably the most important. I strive to practice rigorous honesty in every interaction in my life. Am I perfect at this? Absolutely not! However, it is a great thing to strive for and it has a very impactful impact on my life and relationships. I have lied and created painful situations to mostly everyone in my life. Although I am unable to take those things back, I can sure practice it now.
Yes honesty is one of the big keys to sobriety especially emotional sobriety. I know plenty of people that are clean but have all the defects and personality issues they had while drinking. I do not call this sober. Someone told me once.." You get clean in rehab but you get sober with____"(AA/NA/OA/etc. I believe this is true. Removing the substance means removing the coping tool. Now you have to solve the problems in a healthy way. You want to fill the void with honesty above all else. And its not easy. Lying was so much "safer". Being honest means you are vunerable- which is half the reason I drank!

The only other thing I would add is helping others or service to others. I volunteer and its usually recovery related. i go into the women's prison and run meetings. I give people rides. I have taken women to the hospital. When you are helping others its very hard to be self centered and dwell on your own problems.

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
 
Thanks for this!
bizi
BonsaiGuy
Member
 
BonsaiGuy's Avatar
BonsaiGuy is loving life!
 
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: Ohio
Posts: 184
5 yr Member
193 hugs
given
Default Jan 25, 2019 at 04:09 PM
  #3

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Hey Bonsaiguy I have 6 years of continuous sobriety so I hope your journey is as fulfilling as mine has been, and I loved this post.....
Sarahsweets, I can always count on you for a thorough and honest reply thank you for that. I really look up to you and your recovery. I listen to everything you say in regards to it and I think you have some really great insight here.


Looking back at my post, I certainly agree with you about giving your time and helping others. To me, this has proven to be very important in abstaining from any addiction.

I always enjoy hearing other peoples examples of how they volunteer and give back to others. For me, simply being in the rooms and engaging with others on this forum have proven to provide a lot of healing and have contributed a lot to my recovery. I bet I could experience the fruits of this much more if my time was more directed.

Fascinating response. Thank you so much, friend.

__________________
Recovering from the past. Growing in the present. Planting seeds for the future.

Dx: Bi-Polar II, PTSD, ADHD, SUD
Rx: Methadone 100mg, Lamictal 300mg, Abilify 10mg, Buspar 40mg, Clonadine 0.3mg, Trazodone 50mg, Nexium 20mg, Allegra 180mg
BonsaiGuy is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi, sarahsweets
 
Thanks for this!
bizi, sarahsweets
splitimage
Moderator
Community Support Team
 
splitimage's Avatar
splitimage has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,250
15 yr Member
73 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 25, 2019 at 05:02 PM
  #4
i fully believe that everyone's recovery is different and there's no one size fits all.


I've struggled for years in various programs and have always relapsed.

This time around I'm taking various pieces from different recovery programs, and therapy, and medication (antabuse), and I feel good about it.

The other thing I've done, is adopt the attitude that I will do whatever it takes to not go off my antabuse and relapse. And if that means hibernating in my apartment and ordering my food in, well I'm good that.

splitimage

__________________


"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

Creating Your Custom Recovery Program
splitimage is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
 
Thanks for this!
bizi, BonsaiGuy
BonsaiGuy
Member
 
BonsaiGuy's Avatar
BonsaiGuy is loving life!
 
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: Ohio
Posts: 184
5 yr Member
193 hugs
given
Default Jan 25, 2019 at 05:21 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by splitimage View Post
i fully believe that everyone's recovery is different and there's no one size fits all.
I've struggled for years in various programs and have always relapsed.
This time around I'm taking various pieces from different recovery programs, and therapy, and medication (antabuse), and I feel good about it.
The other thing I've done, is adopt the attitude that I will do whatever it takes to not go off my antabuse and relapse. And if that means hibernating in my apartment and ordering my food in, well I'm good that.
splitimage
This AWESOME! I am so happy that you are giving it another shot. I wish you the best of luck.

I can totally relate to the "by any means necessary" approach. I can know longer deny the consequences of my actions. The reality is my wife hates the man I become when I use. My family hates him. And I hate him. He tries to kill me.

I've actually brought her into my recovery by asking her for help. It has been really great to have her involved. It means a lot to the both of us and this time I feel fully equipped for success.

Good luck to you, my friend!

__________________
Recovering from the past. Growing in the present. Planting seeds for the future.

Dx: Bi-Polar II, PTSD, ADHD, SUD
Rx: Methadone 100mg, Lamictal 300mg, Abilify 10mg, Buspar 40mg, Clonadine 0.3mg, Trazodone 50mg, Nexium 20mg, Allegra 180mg
BonsaiGuy is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
 
Thanks for this!
bizi
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:48 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.