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Old 03-18-2019, 10:20 AM #11
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Default Re: I went

Is there a particular reason why you did not consider detox? In detox they would give you more medication than the five Valium pills that you have. And I'm not one to say that AA is for everybody. It works for some and it doesn't for others. When you receive phone numbers from AA people they actually do want to hear from you even though it feels like the phone weighs 1000 pounds. And I can tell you from experience the feeling like crap thing goes on for a lot longer than 60 days. I don't think I felt right side it until at least 30 days but really 90 in total.
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Old 03-18-2019, 08:15 PM #12
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Default Re: I went

Quote:
Originally Posted by bizi View Post
I am sorry that you have been dealing with this lately.
Maybe time to have a med check with your pdoc.

Do you have a therapist to work with?
The police came out and I was hand cuffed but taken to the hospital where I was committed. I needed to be there so it was not a problem.
Thanks for sharing.
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I do have a T who I saw today and I see my pdoc next week. Once I got over being mad at being committed, I could see I did actually need to be there, but I couldn't see it at first.
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Old 03-18-2019, 08:20 PM #13
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Default Re: I went

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5 View Post
Thank you everyone for your responses.

Thank you childofchaos, that makes sense that it may be hard to talk about it. I find it helps me to talk about it, its more that it seems to make others uncomfortable. I hope you get through this low point and can enjoy life more again. Are you still sober? And how long if you dont mind me asking.
This time around, I'm coming up on 2 months. I've had over 2 years at one point and other longer periods also, but the mental illness keeps getting the better of me. When I get suicidal, I have a tendency to drink instead of harming myself if it comes down to it. I hate that I do that, but it makes sense to me and keeps me from attempting anything, so ya...
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Old 03-18-2019, 11:41 PM #14
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Default Re: I went

Quote:
Originally Posted by childofchaos831 View Post
This time around, I'm coming up on 2 months. I've had over 2 years at one point and other longer periods also, but the mental illness keeps getting the better of me. When I get suicidal, I have a tendency to drink instead of harming myself if it comes down to it. I hate that I do that, but it makes sense to me and keeps me from attempting anything, so ya...
2 months is great! I did 2 months at the start of the year but i was inpatient for one of those after my last attempt. Before that and since that it has been mostly a week or 2 sober at a time.

Most of the time after my night in a cell I get to go home because I can lie well when Im sober but get extremely suicidal while manic and drunk.

I havent figured out any trigger for my drinking or episodes but I tend to get hypomanic and then urge to drink grows stronger until I cant handle it anymore and give in. Eventually I end up actually trying and then i am sent ip where I get sober again for a while.

Today I woke up around 3 and have actually been up since then and my mood has lifted so so much. So hopefully Im through the super rough part now. And hopefully wont end up going too far up and start this all over again. Bipolar is ridiculous.



Sarahsweets I dont have many options where I live and would not want to do it in the hospital where I work. I might be doing an ip dbt program eventually and im hoping that will have more of an impact long term than my hospitalizations have and they have a program that deals with co-occuring disorders so mental/substance use which would probably be a good one for me. I really need to get all this under control.

My kids were all so happy I was actually awake this evening to spend time with them. I feel bad for them and how it all effects them.
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Old 03-19-2019, 07:45 AM #15
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Glad that you had a nice night with your kids.
Do you have a benzo to take?
I pdoc ordered me a beta blocker to take for anxiety, never took it but wonder if it could help. I just had major cravings for alcohol when we were traveling this past christmas. I was 10 pounds lighter than makes me sick this yo yoing around.
This morning was 179.4 so out of the 180's.
today is officially 2 weeks AF this time round., stating that I will be AF today that is. 2 weeks ago I hit the highest weight in YEARS!!!!! 190.8.


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Geodon 80mg twice a day
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klonipin .5 mg at night
3mg of prolonged release melatonin at night
5mg zyprexa at night

magnesium 1250mg, probiotic, turmeric twice a day,
vit d3 5,000units, calcium 300mg twice a day,
vit c 1000mg, fish oils 1000mg ,co-q10 100mg,
multi-vitamin and mineral, tarte cherry, boswallia.
12 pills at noon
11 pills at night
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