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Albatross2008
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Default May 06, 2019 at 11:44 PM
  #1
While I am specifically battling obesity and food addiction, I'm putting this in the general Addictions forum because because I'd like to hear the experiences of those recovering from other types of addictions. I'm referring to peer pressure designed to keep you active in your addiction, and/or to discourage your recovery. To some extent I have suffered this kind of peer pressure with cigarettes and alcohol (both of which I have successfully quit) but with the food addiction, it's been plum RIDICULOUS. To avoid triggering anybody, I won't mention numbers or name specific substances.

I've been doing really well since January, and have lost enough weight that people have begun to notice. I don't bring it up. They do. They compliment me, ask how much weight I've lost, and want to know how I'm doing it. All I do is answer their questions.

So this one lady wants to consider herself my friend, but we're only acquaintances. I'd never say this to her, but to be honest, I really don't like her very much. Yesterday she enthusiastically complimented me, which I appreciate, and asked me about my weight loss. When I answered, she responded, "That's great! We'll have to celebrate! Let's go out for some (extremely high calorie dessert)!"

I know it was a joke. I just think it was a lousy joke. And inappropriate too. It made me wonder if she would have said to an alcoholic who is now sober, "That's great! Let's celebrate and go out for (whatever name of a drink)!"

Underneath this "joke" is the attitude, "I don't want you to do better than me. I want you to be the one I can feel superior to, and look down on. Besides, I've been working hard trying to convince myself and everybody else that this thing can't be overcome. If you get better, then it takes away my excuses."

So, you who are recovering from addictions besides food, do you find that people want to throw that substance in your face and play temptation games with you? Whether or not it's under the guise of "joking"?
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Default May 07, 2019 at 01:52 AM
  #2
Oh well, addiction is prevalent in the western world. Almost everyone struggles with some kind of addiction. For some it's shopping. Others it's social media. For others it's sex or unhealthy relationships and the list goes on and on...fast food, drugs, marijuana, alcohol, prescription medication, hoarding. Etc. Etc. Clothes. Make-up. Fast cars. Etc.


I wouldn't take what others say too seriously. I think that's the attitude to cultivate.


I have cut a lot of addictions...to cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana, social media, unhealthy relationships, clothes. Well, okay...not the clothes thing...my closets are still stuffed and I have way too many boots.

The point is eventually I think it is good to develop a sense of humor about it.


I have been trying to lose weight for years and my addiction to food is a tough one. Since I quit smoking everything tastes so good...and I became vegetarian...but I still eat a lot! Lately I decided to not be so hard on myself. This can extend to others, too. When they say stupid things you can just think...to yourself...how stupid is that? - and move on.

It's helpful to understand most people are sensitive about this and try to act the opposite...because our culture programs us to be addictive. So everyone is affected...even if they pretend not to be.

Congratulations on your progress. Take time to enjoy your new freedom from addiction. Personally I have been finding dieting very difficult and if someone suggested I go gorge on a calorific reward...I might just bite their head off. But people do use "cheat days" as rewards. I don't see the sense of it.
I gave up a lot of highly fattening foods and I never eat them...preferring lighter food. Lord only knows why I am not losing weight as I practically live on salads!

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Albatross2008
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Default May 07, 2019 at 03:42 PM
  #3
Right, I don't do "cheat days." Someone told me I'd be more likely to stick with it if I allow for treats now and then, but my daily protein shakes are like treats to me, and they satisfy that craving. I add fruit, and count the extra calories. A "cheat day" would only kick off big cravings and lead to a full-blown relapse. Which I suspect some people *want* me to have, because then they feel better about themselves.

It was the same way with my mother and cigarettes. She quit smoking for a whole year, and then celebrated her anniversary by lighting up a cigarette. She was going to show everybody that she had control over it now, and she could smoke just that one cigarette and be OK. Well, predictably, she went right back to smoking, and it took her a long time to quit again. I quit in 2007, and I know the same thing would happen to me if I smoked just one cigarette. I quit drinking in 2008 (that is, relapsed for the last time) and I know the same thing would happen if I had just one drink.

So just one high-calorie, high-fat dessert would undo my progress recovering from food addiction too. My daughter is a recovering drug addict herself, and I would never suggest to her that she should celebrate her clean and sober time by getting high.
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Default May 07, 2019 at 04:14 PM
  #4
Well, everyone gets free differently.

About six months into my quit journey with cigarettes I got drunk (by accident!) on rum...and ended up buying cigarettes and smoking almost the whole pack!!! Of course I had to start all over the next day. But my head was already into quitting. Smoking those last cigarettes was awful. I hated it. So in a way it served me to have that relapse.

Quitting drinking was in fits and starts. It took a long time to let go.

Becoming vegetarian took me a full two years. Now I would never go back.

Sometimes I do eat something highly caloric (generally not high fat) but 90% of the time I am on track. I don't relate to food as a reward. I love food and I love eating...but not addictively. It will probably take me a long time to lose weight because I am not really treating it like an addiction. It's a life change.

I think in our society people are very sensitive about addictions. Like someone may eat fast food but feel guilty about it...so if you bring up that fast food is garbage they will get defensive.

The less talk about our journey the better, I think. It is, after all, about progress, not perfection.


I am saying this to myself because I became obsessive about talking about my diet and why I was failing. I even had several appointments with a nutritionist. She said that even healthy food in excess will keep the weight on. So I am calorie counting which is a miserable business. I keep a food log.

Getting free is very hard work. The less we talk about it and keep our eye on our own personal goals...the better off we are. I am really giving this advice to myself...right here on your thread which I have hijacked! Sorry!

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