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Old 05-13-2019, 04:49 PM #1
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Trig First post. Looking for feedback

Iím an alcoholic. I have been for a very longtime. Itís gotten worse since my brothers suicide and now I have suicidal thoughts, especially when I drink too much. I attempted twice in my teens. Iím in my mid 30ís now and have had a couple scares. Deep down I know drinking is bad. Iím constantly justifying it. Iím a functioning alcoholic. I work 8-5 every day and rarely get behind the wheel after drinking. Mostly because I lost my license after a second dwi in one year. I am also a recovering meth addict. Sometimes after I buy my bottle of vodka -it just happened today- itís like I canít get home fast enough to pour myself a drink. I donít even feel the affects anymore until Iím 3-4 drinks in. I shake when I donít have it for so long. Iíve even had friends sneak me in alcohol when I was working a serving second job at nights. I know this is bad for me. I know I need to stop but why do I keep doing it? My boyfriend is the most understanding person but I keep hurting him over and over. You canít help someone until they want to help themselves and I keep making excuses. Im not religious. I donít have the will to go to meetings so how do I say enough is enough? And just stop doing this to myself and everyone around me?
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Old 05-14-2019, 08:10 AM #2
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Default Re: First post. Looking for feedback

Welcome to the addictions forum, and well done on making the first step of admitting you have a problem and are looking for help.


Based on what you've said, "getting shakes" it's probably not safe for you to quit cold Turkey. You're going to need help with detox. So I'd suggest starting with your family Dr., and asking about detox, and ideally treatment options. You've been drinking a long time, so treatment will likely give you the tools you need to learn to live sober. It doesn't have to be residential, there are a lot of good outpatient programs, some even run in the evening so you can keep working, although personally I wouldn't recommend it.


As for self help groups, there's a world outside of AA. AA wasn't for me either. There's also SMART recovery, which is based on CBT and I have lots of friends who go to those meetings and love them. For women, there's also women for sobriety, which has IRL meetings some places but not all that many, but they have a very robust web site that hosts chats several times a day.


Good luck, and keep us posted on how you're doing.


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First post. Looking for feedback



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