advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
splitimage
Moderator
Community Support Team
 
splitimage's Avatar
splitimage has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,250
15 yr Member
73 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 10, 2020 at 07:25 AM
  #21
Good for you for getting through the worst of the physical withdrawals.

I can relate to suddenly having all this time free that used to be spent on using. When I quit drinking at first, I had literally hours freed up every day. I wound up picking up some new hobbies, to help keep me occupied, and also as a distraction from wanting to drink.

Hang in there. You can do this.

splitimage

__________________


"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

Haven't been here in ages
splitimage is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist

advertisement
-jimi-
Jimi the rat
 
-jimi-'s Avatar
-jimi- is a vermin. Please feed me anyway.
 
Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 6,234
15 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 10, 2020 at 08:50 PM
  #22
I probably should have a health care plan where I do the same crap every day, by discipline even if I don't want it. Like clean, take care of things and yea I need to walk more, our dog needs it and my "partner" needs to walk the dog less. I don't want any hobbies, I have a lot of things I am interested in but I don't wanna ruin them by trying when I don't feel any joy. I'll do other things instead. Maybe if I get in the habit of taking care of myself and my home, things will feel less out of hand.

I had a huge setback in my home improvement this winter because I let someone into my home that basically ruined it. My plan was to fix things up and now I'm back in the negatives, step wise. Maybe if I get that under control and up to date, it will feel better. I think that is better than trying to do anything fun.

I need to contact my doc for sleep meds. If this would ever work.

Last time I quit I actually came to the point I was feeling some joy without drugs. So it should come back. Even if it takes time.

It's sad that my creative writing the last years has worked because of different substances. It feels bad to put that on hold but I have no other option.

I know the first fun I will relate to is music. Will be happier when that comes back.

So yea I need to put my home back together after the guest, and my life back together after years of using. That doesn't feel too bad in a way, at least it is some kind of project.

And I got rid of my "friend" who kept nagging me to do things and said what is stopping me is just laziness (I have quite bad physical health to begin with and also ADD that makes it hard for me to start things), he kept lying to me that I had no problems and I should just up and do stuff. Least I know now, whatever I do, I fought for.

It is not the only friend I got rid of, four in all. So a lot in my life is really different from just a while ago. Does feel good in a way. Life really became so different from what I had planned. In some ways I needed those people, but now I have to do without.

Even before I feel better mentally, I'll try to nurture my relationship with my "partner", "sister", "soulmate", whatever you want to call her. I have been relying on her so heavily. I think I have to fake it for her, because that relationship is my most important one with a person.

I just wonder why I even quit, I sort of did fine doped up, I never got like totally out of it, and I didn't actually use up such money as expected. In a way my life was better, I just came to the point where the drug became an enemy. That happens with opioids, they stop being your friend. I wish in a way I could back down time and handled them more responsively. I mean, I was happy on that stuff. Sad it can't be forever, I have a hard time accepting that.

But my life will be easier, loads easier. A bit more money and no fear of the cops finding out what I'm doing. Being paranoid about the law is kind of a huge thing. Cuz yea, it is real. People get caught.

So in a way I do know what way to go.

It's just really weird to have your life and home destroyed by a "guest" and then decide to quit drugs on top of that. Well I actually started quitting before the stuff with guest. So I guess that is why.

I'm also slowly losing my best friend, my kitty. He is so strong he beat the odds and should already be gone. Now that he fought so well, the day he passes I will be... surprised. Shocked. He is "just old", with worn out kidneys.

Someone said I did well quitting. Like really meaning it being impressed. I came to think about that. What if it's true? What if this was a big deal and not just an everyday thing expected from me? What if I actually suffered and didn't just make it up? What if I actually did a big thing? IDK, that just made me happy to hear.

I'm used to hearing nothing I do is good or enough.

My "partner" has some kind of atypical depression so she is mostly negative, no fault of her own. She is resilient and reliable, in a way you wouldn't believe. But at the same time she really gets people down. She doesn't have introspective skills so she has no idea why things happen and what she can do about them.

But I know I have to make her happy. Pay back for everything good she did to me.

Maybe one day she can stop being hurtful to people, in the past I trained her similar to a dog LOL. And I got her then to get a more positive outlook and a friendlier way. But just one friend fighting another persons depression isn't easy, so I had to give up.

Having additional problems seem to make me focus away from the no drugs thing, so in a way it is good.

The thing I feel a bit bad about is the friends that are hours away. I really wanna see them but I'm not strong enough.

Usually I don't make messes out of posts, but I'll just keep this like it is..... sorta straight look into my brain, LOL.

__________________
-jimi- is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi, bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
bizi
bizi
Bizi is bizi
 
bizi's Avatar
bizi happines is a decision
 
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,830
15 yr Member
43.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Red face Feb 10, 2020 at 09:57 PM
  #23
This is a terrific post!

This is hard work that you are doing.
You are worthy of this effort!
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





bizi is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
-jimi-
Jimi the rat
 
-jimi-'s Avatar
-jimi- is a vermin. Please feed me anyway.
 
Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 6,234
15 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 12, 2020 at 11:45 AM
  #24
Doing stuff in the day... eh, that hasn't worked so far. OK, I do minor stuff which I have to do, otherwise I've just slept. Dang, that felt good. I can't wait to go back to bed.

__________________
-jimi- is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi, bpcyclist
-jimi-
Jimi the rat
 
-jimi-'s Avatar
-jimi- is a vermin. Please feed me anyway.
 
Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 6,234
15 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 17, 2020 at 02:01 AM
  #25
Worst of the physical crap is definitely over. Mentally it will take a while. In a way I wonder why I even did this, I mean I wanted control back.

But people have been so dang negative. I'm not talking random people online, but people who are close. I dunno why they were so hellbent on me failing, or saying I was a nicer on drugs. All kind of negative crap. I don't get it because these are generally good people, so I don't know where this attitude came from. It irks me that I don't even understand. I mean sure I had to take me-time because of this, but surely they must understand I'm not gonna be sick and self centered for good?

__________________
-jimi- is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
bizi
Bizi is bizi
 
bizi's Avatar
bizi happines is a decision
 
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,830
15 yr Member
43.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Red face Feb 17, 2020 at 10:06 AM
  #26
Jimi, do what you have to do for yourself!
the rest will fall into place.
Maybe you will see who your true friends are?
sending strength to you today....
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





bizi is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
-jimi-
Jimi the rat
 
-jimi-'s Avatar
-jimi- is a vermin. Please feed me anyway.
 
Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 6,234
15 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 17, 2020 at 11:35 PM
  #27
They are indeed good friends. But friends can't know everything about every subject on earth. They are not god.

__________________
-jimi- is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 18, 2020 at 11:26 AM
  #28
Hey @jimi:
Quote:
TG for kratom. Sporadic use not to be hooked on that instead but man, it helps. If it wasn't for kratom, I wouldn't stand a chance.
]Kratom: Unsafe and ineffective - Mayo Clinic

DrugFacts: Kratom | National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA)

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
-jimi-
Jimi the rat
 
-jimi-'s Avatar
-jimi- is a vermin. Please feed me anyway.
 
Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 6,234
15 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 18, 2020 at 12:19 PM
  #29
Do you have any own comment or just links?

Doing drugs is much more unsafe than coming off them with a little help of kratom. It doesn't mean you stay on kratom for life. It helped me a lot in the taper process, and without it I would not been able to taper at all. Less quit. It has become quite a common way of quitting where I am at. If people manage to quit, I don't think that is a good time of lecturing them they quit in the "wrong way".

__________________
-jimi- is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 18, 2020 at 02:10 PM
  #30
Excuse me but I was not lecturing anyone. I was sharing links to information. I’ll comment more later. As an alcoholic in recovery in chronic pain, I identify with your issues. I wasn’t passing judgement, I have no business judging people with addictions. We are all brothers and sisters

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
-jimi-
Jimi the rat
 
-jimi-'s Avatar
-jimi- is a vermin. Please feed me anyway.
 
Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 6,234
15 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 18, 2020 at 07:34 PM
  #31
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Excuse me but I was not lecturing anyone. I was sharing links to information. I’ll comment more later. As an alcoholic in recovery in chronic pain, I identify with your issues. I wasn’t passing judgement, I have no business judging people with addictions. We are all brothers and sisters
I am just guessing since you just posted links. That is why it's good to also add your own comment.

__________________
-jimi- is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi, sarahsweets
 
Thanks for this!
sarahsweets
giddykitty
Grand Poohbah
 
giddykitty's Avatar
giddykitty has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 1,639
5 yr Member
3,229 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 19, 2020 at 12:50 AM
  #32
hey jimi! I saw this thread in todays posts and i now understand why you're not feeling well. I hope it gets better very soon for ya! Sending my best thoughts

__________________
Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg
Levothyroxine .75mg
Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily)
Probiotics
And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements.
giddykitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
-jimi-
Jimi the rat
 
-jimi-'s Avatar
-jimi- is a vermin. Please feed me anyway.
 
Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 6,234
15 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 19, 2020 at 01:41 AM
  #33
Quote:
Originally Posted by giddykitty View Post
hey jimi! I saw this thread in todays posts and i now understand why you're not feeling well. I hope it gets better very soon for ya! Sending my best thoughts
Thx! Yea, it'll get better... but man does it take time...

__________________
-jimi- is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
giddykitty
-jimi-
Jimi the rat
 
-jimi-'s Avatar
-jimi- is a vermin. Please feed me anyway.
 
Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 6,234
15 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 26, 2020 at 07:00 AM
  #34
Growing back dopamine at a steep rate. A few weeks, and it's back online even it's not where it should be, still tired and really unmotivated but mood wise I'm basically fine. Dysphoria ended, stopped being a total grump. I think my friends like having their easy going smiling laughing friend back. I'll be danged.

__________________
-jimi- is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, giddykitty
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
splitimage
Moderator
Community Support Team
 
splitimage's Avatar
splitimage has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,250
15 yr Member
73 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 26, 2020 at 07:36 AM
  #35
Glad you're recovering, and feeling better.

__________________


"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

Haven't been here in ages
splitimage is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 26, 2020 at 03:57 PM
  #36
Quote:
Originally Posted by -jimi- View Post
Growing back dopamine at a steep rate. A few weeks, and it's back online even it's not where it should be, still tired and really unmotivated but mood wise I'm basically fine. Dysphoria ended, stopped being a total grump. I think my friends like having their easy going smiling laughing friend back. I'll be danged.
You are doing awesome, Jimi!!!!!!! So happy for you and proud of you, as a fellow tramadol addict in recovery. Hardest thing I have ever done.

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
-jimi-
Jimi the rat
 
-jimi-'s Avatar
-jimi- is a vermin. Please feed me anyway.
 
Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 6,234
15 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 27, 2020 at 10:37 AM
  #37
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
You are doing awesome, Jimi!!!!!!! So happy for you and proud of you, as a fellow tramadol addict in recovery. Hardest thing I have ever done.
Even if I'm not glad for your suffering (of course!), I'm glad someone understands this is a "thing". I heard so many times this is just a light addiction, it's so not. My friend's friend who is also struggling started quitting before me and isn't through it yet. I understand that, because it is difficult indeed.

OK that the physical withdrawals from buprenorphine hit me harder than those from Tramadol, "only" Tramadol withdrawals are bad enough. And since Tramadol affects more transmittor substances it is a more complex drug, so it is basically like coming off two things.

This substance isn't anything toying around with. Where I live it's soon the number one drug to die from. Cheap and accessible.

__________________
-jimi- is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
-jimi-
Jimi the rat
 
-jimi-'s Avatar
-jimi- is a vermin. Please feed me anyway.
 
Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 6,234
15 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 09, 2020 at 10:18 PM
  #38
Since I'm actually doing a lot better I'm here if anyone wants specific help on quitting so called mild opioids. When I quit, I actually had several "friends" who quit at the same time. One I think isn't fully clean but lies about it, one was struggling really hard and hadn't taken anything for ages but still never got OK, so he went back to using, but with a load more care, and two people got totally clean, one actually off oxy, which I feel is out of my league and a more hardcore drug. So seems my little gang had a decent success rate.

One thing that irks me is that a lot of web pages has on them it takes 1-3 weeks to quit and feel normal again. This is serious misinformation.

But it's like how the web has become. Google likes to push pages that are very shallow, and if you need something deep, you need to use DDG or scroll through loads of pages. Daym I hate Google of today.

__________________
-jimi- is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, giddykitty
 
Thanks for this!
giddykitty
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:16 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.