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Ziggymuzik
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Default Jan 16, 2010 at 09:05 PM
  #41
Nice to have a place to go to ... 1month and one day sober!
One day at a time.

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Default Jan 21, 2010 at 03:42 PM
  #42
I take pain meds for pain but seems like when i get them refilled i always always always end up taking more than needed cause i get a buzz then i end up running out early and then hurting the next few weeks till i can get more. i buy them off the street too when i'm out and it's really causing financial trouble. i will not absolutely will not tell this to anyone professional because i don't want them to cut me off for good cause i do need them for the pain but i'm just so tempted when i have a whole bottle to take more than needed. i could get by with 2 a day if i did it according to my pain level but i end up taking 6-9 a day or more sometimes. are there any suggestions for what i can do to try to get a hold on this. every single month i get my refill i say i'm gonna take them right this time and every time i get them filled i over-do it. i've thought about giving them to my husband to hold and let him give them to me when i need them so he could kind of regulate how i use them but then i'd have to tell him why i need him to do this and i don't want him to know i'm a "pill head"

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outsider27
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Default Feb 28, 2010 at 08:30 PM
  #43
I'm new to this site, but am happy to see this kind of help. I want to stop drinking but can never seem to do it, or find the right tools to help me. I hope I can find those tools here.
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Window
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Default Apr 21, 2010 at 06:39 PM
  #44
I have been recently drinking more than I'd like to admit. I smoke already, and feel badly about it, but don't want to quit as I fear life without them as I get really anxious and I find they calm me down.

Lately though, life has become unmanageable and I am slowly imploding as I watch myself without feeling much inner strength or hope. I am really hurting, yet can't cry, or even seem to be in touch with my feelings. I am like a catatonic robot these days, and the thing that hurts the most, is that I know I am hurting my loved ones. I care more about them, than I do about myself.

The only thing I feel on a regular basis is guilt, and when I am triggered, then I feel the pain of my self loathing. When triggered, I need to sleep as it's the only thing that can calm me down. I am losing my motivation and drive to succeed, as I am simply avoiding life, living and going out anywhere unless I absolutely have to. This is no way to live, as I want very much to be happy.
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annoyedone
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Default Apr 23, 2010 at 10:52 AM
  #45
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Originally Posted by wmw64 View Post
I have, by nature, always been cheap. In as much, I was thinking to myself, that if I wanted to get the most out of injecting my cocaine, I might be able to put it where it goes anyway, into the brain, by mixing up a small amount and hitting the internal carotid and do away with diluting the mix with my whole system and put it where it does the most good, my brain! The first time I did this I over did it. I am told that I was seizing for anywhere between fifteen and twenty minutes. Since then, I have continued to practice the same method only pushing only the smallest amount and waiting 3 to 5 seconds to see if I could do more. Then I would. This would go on until I lost the artery. Then I keep trying to find it. I have many instances of doing too much.... with bruises from seizing. I was wondering, am I alone with this type of use? A can anyone tell me why my vision shifts vertically forcing me to close one eye so that I might see clearly to continue?
I did the same thing only with meth. I have been clean for 15 months and the only thing I can tell you is to hang in there. I still have strong desires to use and the only thing you can do is take it one day at a time. Hell, one minute at time if you have to. As long as you make it through the day clean.

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Window
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Default Apr 23, 2010 at 12:14 PM
  #46
If I didn't drink and smoke, I'd be pretty nasty. I use these things to stop me from taking the anxiety from my issues out on others around me. I am taking responsibility, but in the wrong way, and I don't know how to live nicely without them.

Anyone else have this problem too ?

Last edited by Window; Apr 23, 2010 at 02:42 PM..
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jofseattle
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Default May 23, 2010 at 01:17 PM
  #47
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Welcome to our support group for people who grapple with substance/alcohol abuse or dependence. I hope you find this group supportive of your needs.

If you're seeking additional information about these issues, you may want to check out our alcohol and substance abuse resources online.

Good luck with a successful recovery!

DocJohn
Dear Doc,

I am very excited to find this website and I need some direction on where to start. I have 30 plus years in d & a recovery... I even helped to start one of the first ACOA groups in PA over 20 years ago. I have lots and lots of recovery in many areas of my life and have met numerous challenges along the way ... I have always found a way to love me along the way.

Recently, for the first time in my recovery I have been experiencing severe PTSD symptoms; As a result of being re-exposed to my childhood traumas and new information about a murder commited by my primary perp when I was still living in the home.

I need a regular group on line meeting to discuss the problems and feelings I am experiencing. I did find a local group but it only meets once a month and is very small.

Could you give me some feedback on where to begin to navagate this site and find the support I need to recover myself again.

Jofseattle
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Default Jul 20, 2010 at 11:08 AM
  #48
Hey gang, I am very new here but would love to join the support group. Do I just need to post here or is there something else I need to do?

Thanx

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twitch7569
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Default Aug 09, 2010 at 10:50 AM
  #49
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Originally Posted by FlffyChic View Post
I take pain meds for pain but seems like when i get them refilled i always always always end up taking more than needed cause i get a buzz then i end up running out early and then hurting the next few weeks till i can get more. i buy them off the street too when i'm out and it's really causing financial trouble. i will not absolutely will not tell this to anyone professional because i don't want them to cut me off for good cause i do need them for the pain but i'm just so tempted when i have a whole bottle to take more than needed. i could get by with 2 a day if i did it according to my pain level but i end up taking 6-9 a day or more sometimes. are there any suggestions for what i can do to try to get a hold on this. every single month i get my refill i say i'm gonna take them right this time and every time i get them filled i over-do it. i've thought about giving them to my husband to hold and let him give them to me when i need them so he could kind of regulate how i use them but then i'd have to tell him why i need him to do this and i don't want him to know i'm a "pill head"
FYI- In a substance abuse class I took, I learned that after an extended period of opiate use....the body builds up a tolerance and needs more and more of the drug to get the same effect....hence addiction/dependence. But another thing that was interesting is that after using opiates, you can develop a hyper-sensitivity to pain....meaning, your pain receptors feel pain at a level that without the opiates, you would not feel pain. The pain is real....not all in your head....but it's worse because you have become tolerant to the opiates. Then comes the cycle of feeling more pain and needing more pills to ease the pain and then the addiction and then depression and so on and so on. What you can try it to stop the pain meds for a few weeks....you will feel rotten and may even feel like you have a case of slight flu and you will feel your pain but....it will pass if you can get thru the phase. Then you will know if your pain is due to hypersensivity or injury. Google non-medication pain methods to help get you thru it but it won't be easy. Just an idea.

Hope it helps some.

Missy
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Thanks for this!
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lkconnelly
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Default Aug 21, 2010 at 03:10 PM
  #50
Hey Window

I am in the very same boat as you. I am fully aware I'm a raging alcoholic and am not doing much about it. I'm at least admitting it but I don't want to stop-- YET at the same time want to stop. Hence I'm on this forum. I need help. I know I need to find a meeting and I need to start the process but I don't want to be an alcoholic.

I know what I need to do.

I'm a gigantic MESS and I am happy to find your post. Its nice to see everyone's posts -- its helpful to know we're not alone.

I need some strength -- I don't fully know how to find it myself. I've been making a huge *** out of myself for too long, and tired of being painfully hung over. I really need to clean up my act.

Hope you're well/better/sane/found help etc. It'd be nice to know how you are.

lkc
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britbluesfan
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Default Sep 18, 2010 at 07:21 AM
  #51
Quote:
Originally Posted by twitch7569 View Post
FYI- In a substance abuse class I took, I learned that after an extended period of opiate use....the body builds up a tolerance and needs more and more of the drug to get the same effect....hence addiction/dependence. But another thing that was interesting is that after using opiates, you can develop a hyper-sensitivity to pain....meaning, your pain receptors feel pain at a level that without the opiates, you would not feel pain. The pain is real....not all in your head....but it's worse because you have become tolerant to the opiates. Then comes the cycle of feeling more pain and needing more pills to ease the pain and then the addiction and then depression and so on and so on. What you can try it to stop the pain meds for a few weeks....you will feel rotten and may even feel like you have a case of slight flu and you will feel your pain but....it will pass if you can get thru the phase. Then you will know if your pain is due to hypersensivity or injury. Google non-medication pain methods to help get you thru it but it won't be easy. Just an idea.

Hope it helps some.

Missy

Hi everyone this is my first entry and first reply. I am sober 27 years, I am a professional therapist in addiction, and run the NFL's drug program for the 9 teams in the Northeast. I am joining this group because I wanted to finally use this technology to remind me that I do not have all the answers and as I remind myself before every therapy session; "the one on the other side of the desk is the patient." I am a fellow traveler. I wanted to reply to Missy and the head games that occur with prescription opiates. This was my drug of choice and I realized that I wound up believing that being "normal" was having no pain." Obviously this was before sobriety, but it made my entrance into recovery very difficult. I really believed that I had pain, but I was taking pills for any slight discomfort and desensitizing myself to the daily normal dings and dents and I had lost judgment of real pain completely. Pain is BS, we take pain pills in increasing and addictive amounts because we like the feeling. The high. One thing that these pills gave me was energy, a relaxed but vibrant energy to get things done. So on top of creating no appropriate tolerance for pains and normal "ouches" I now had come to believe that the only or best way to get anything done was to have these opiate pills in my system. When my moment of clarity came, I was stunned to see how many pills I was taking daily. Of course I conveniently forgot I had 5 doctors and 6 pharmacies. Also, my pills were Percocet and they have acetaminophen- a lot, and my liver enzymes were sky rocketing. Hope this helps, keep taking charge, andy
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wandalow
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Smile Oct 11, 2010 at 06:15 PM
  #52
i'm new n willing to know more about being sober,i've been sober for a month now it feels good but i know i have a long way to go...

]
That is wonderful i have been clean for a month n i feel great better then i have in years...


hang in there do it one day at a time........

I'm having a great day today havent thought of getting high or drinking today its getting better with time

I like to say to everyone who hasnt used today congrats n keep up the good work

Last edited by Christina86; Oct 11, 2010 at 10:24 PM..
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Default Nov 17, 2010 at 02:58 PM
  #53
is there anyone here that can talk to me please. i am not good with computers so i dont know if anyone is there
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Default Nov 24, 2010 at 09:08 PM
  #54
I was wondering if someone could please help me. I am dealing with an abusive BF who I believe is abusing again, as his behavior is odd. I do not understand it, but it is hurting me too much and I have to get away from him as it is making me very depressed and anxious. I know he is an addict and an alcoholic, but I cannot help him, as I have tried. I just need to know if behaviors such as disappearing for hours and then not showing up, anger, lack of caring about others feelings, irresponsiblility, asking for money a lot, lying, etc. Does this mean drug use again? He always sounds very drugged, then he stays up always late and then sleeps in the day. He was taking antidepressants, but stopped. He a lso has a habit of taking pain meds with alcohol and going to the hospital to get them. The last time he went there, he told me they would not help him. I told him because they know he is addicted and he got very mad. He keeps saying he can control his drug use, and he is not like other addicts. This is very odd as he is 58 years old. He tries to keep me up and I just cannot deal with this behavior. I just had the worst, most hurtful run in and now my depression is back. He has a long history of cocaine and alcohol abuse, jail etc. He has been to detox, but always refuses the jail programs, gets angry when I bring up a problem. I know I am supposed to help him, but it makes me sick and very anxious, as he is abusive. He borrowed some money from me recently and I asked it for it back and he was out somewhere and would not specify and said he would bring it to me when he could. Earlier he had told me he would be at my house at 4 p.m. He then yells at me for being angry. Is it me or this crazy behavior? I am concerned. I suffer from depression and have to stay away from this as he triggers me. I realize he has a disease, but he will not listen to anyone. Thanks for any advice.

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Last edited by Artsywoman45; Nov 24, 2010 at 09:13 PM.. Reason: additions
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Default Jan 16, 2011 at 11:58 AM
  #55
I've been smoking pot everyday for two years and am trying to quit for good. I am on day 2 and am having a difficult time. I can't sleep, I'm very anxious, I am cold then hot, I'm having terrible stomach aches. Is there anything I can take to help me relax and sleep?
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Default Feb 03, 2011 at 12:26 PM
  #56
Hello everyone. I am a 35 year old female. I have two sons, one is 16 and other is 7. I am a drug addict that is trying to make my life better so I can be a better person and a better mother. I also suffer from some mental illness issues. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety attacks, and I am a cutter. I am hoping to get some support as well as maybe help someone with my story. Thank you doc for setting this up.
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Default Feb 05, 2011 at 11:41 PM
  #57
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Originally Posted by Chertuck35 View Post
Hello everyone. I am a 35 year old female. I have two sons, one is 16 and other is 7. I am a drug addict that is trying to make my life better so I can be a better person and a better mother. I also suffer from some mental illness issues. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety attacks, and I am a cutter. I am hoping to get some support as well as maybe help someone with my story. Thank you doc for setting this up.
Hi Cher, been scoping out this website for almost a year; finally joined; just figuring out how to get around & find help & inspiration. Wanted u to know you are NOT alone. I have a 9 yr old who I would die for and am finally seeking treatment for drug addiction. Gigantic mood swings off the charts are distancing us terribly. I sooo do want to make my life better for both of us.
Incidentally, diagnosed with Depression, GAD too years ago b4 ever even faced possiblity opiates could be part of the problem. Clean now for only 10 days... hope u are well !! Thanx for sharing! Take care.
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Default Feb 11, 2011 at 11:18 PM
  #58
I hate drinking and what it is doing to my life....but I keep doing it. Isn't that crazy?
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Default Feb 16, 2011 at 08:49 PM
  #59
hi im very new at this. i need some advice. i have been with my husband for 2 years now. he has a drug problem. he injects cocain. we have steadily been trying to get him off but with no sucesss. i was wondering is there any hope or am i wasting my life. i love him very much and he is a wonderful man. he just has a problem that he cant shake.
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Default Mar 07, 2011 at 06:47 PM
  #60
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Originally Posted by dubp64 View Post
I'm new and would really like to meet someone to help me get through my issues with with substance abuse and depression...mean cobination...
I understand, I will listen if you want to talk.

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