[Gloofitz]

I am new here today and want to share my story in hopes it will help someone else going through a similar situation, feeling as hopeless as I have most of my life.

To start I am a 46 year old male, I am married with a 20 year old son.

From an early age I was depressed and suffered anxiety and relentless worry

Looking back on my life I now understand why it went the way it did, I have always been very fortunate to have a very supportive loving family and good friends all the while suffering poor grades and eventually dropping out of school, I have never had a job that I would keep longer than a year before I quit.

I have always had big ideas and high but achievable goals for myself however when things didn't go as planned I would inevitably crash and burn ending up depressed, I never understood the hell I put my family through, my poor wife bore the brunt of my anger and depression, ( I never physically abused my wife)the angry outbursts and moody behavior sure weren't fair to her, I honestly do not understand why she is still with me or that she never killed me in my sleep,

I was quite haywire and out of control when I was younger, I partied hard, drinking my share of alcohol but somehow I managed to come out of it alive.

My depression worsened over the years and the episodes were getting worse, I was prescribed anti depressants on and off but never got a good result and would usually have negative reactions to the medication,

Recently I have had the worst depression, I have felt completely hopeless and did not leave the house for almost a month, I have lost at least 15 lbs, didnt brush my teeth, shave or shower for two weeks, I wanted to die.

My wife hauled me to the er one day as i could not stop shaking and had a hard time breathing

My doctor has put me on several different meds over the last month without relief of any type from my depression.

Finally my wife comes home from work on Saturday and asks me if I have ever been tested for ADD, I responded by telling her it wasn't a real thing it was just made up to control kids that misbehave in school.

My wife then says to me that she works with a 20 something girl that acts just like I did when we first met and it turns out she is ADD and that I should look it up.

My life fit the adult ADD checklist perfectly and the more I researched the more things made sense, I met with my doctor yesterday morning and had a good conversation with him in this regard, leaving with a prescription for Ritalin.

Right after I picked up my prescription I took my first pill and within 40 minutes I felt my depression completely lift, this was the first time in years I was free from it, I literally started crying as I was overcome with relief from the dark hell I lived in for years.

I never expected my depression to just dissipate the way it did, I am on day 2 now and have taken Ritalin 10 mg ir 3 times a day and while I am physically exhausted and malnourished, I am not depressed and finally have hope for the future.

I am very lucky to have my wife, she never quit on me when she had every reason, no one would have blamed her

[IowaFarmGal]

She sounds like an Awesome person! I'm so glad for you that she figured this out and you had a doctor also that listens. I hope your life is going to get much better now. Wish you well! Welcome to Psych Central!

[{Trixy}]

Originally Posted by Gloofitz

I am new here today and want to share my story in hopes it will help someone else going through a similar situation, feeling as hopeless as I have most of my life.

To start I am a 46 year old male, I am married with a 20 year old son.

From an early age I was depressed and suffered anxiety and relentless worry

Looking back on my life I now understand why it went the way it did, I have always been very fortunate to have a very supportive loving family and good friends all the while suffering poor grades and eventually dropping out of school, I have never had a job that I would keep longer than a year before I quit.

I have always had big ideas and high but achievable goals for myself however when things didn't go as planned I would inevitably crash and burn ending up depressed, I never understood the hell I put my family through, my poor wife bore the brunt of my anger and depression, ( I never physically abused my wife)the angry outbursts and moody behavior sure weren't fair to her, I honestly do not understand why she is still with me or that she never killed me in my sleep,

I was quite haywire and out of control when I was younger, I partied hard, drinking my share of alcohol but somehow I managed to come out of it alive.

My depression worsened over the years and the episodes were getting worse, I was prescribed anti depressants on and off but never got a good result and would usually have negative reactions to the medication,

Recently I have had the worst depression, I have felt completely hopeless and did not leave the house for almost a month, I have lost at least 15 lbs, didnt brush my teeth, shave or shower for two weeks, I wanted to die.

My wife hauled me to the er one day as i could not stop shaking and had a hard time breathing

My doctor has put me on several different meds over the last month without relief of any type from my depression.

Finally my wife comes home from work on Saturday and asks me if I have ever been tested for ADD, I responded by telling her it wasn't a real thing it was just made up to control kids that misbehave in school.

My wife then says to me that she works with a 20 something girl that acts just like I did when we first met and it turns out she is ADD and that I should look it up.

My life fit the adult ADD checklist perfectly and the more I researched the more things made sense, I met with my doctor yesterday morning and had a good conversation with him in this regard, leaving with a prescription for Ritalin.

Right after I picked up my prescription I took my first pill and within 40 minutes I felt my depression completely lift, this was the first time in years I was free from it, I literally started crying as I was overcome with relief from the dark hell I lived in for years.

I never expected my depression to just dissipate the way it did, I am on day 2 now and have taken Ritalin 10 mg ir 3 times a day and while I am physically exhausted and malnourished, I am not depressed and finally have hope for the future.

I am very lucky to have my wife, she never quit on me when she had every reason, no one would have blamed her

I'm very happy to hear your story of success!!! I also battle with adhd. They have also diagnosed me with BPD and I'm curious if that term a tautly applies. I'm medded for depression, moods ECT however a friend recently told me his story with add and said they mis diagnosed him bpd before realizing it was all add related. Thank you for sharing your story this gives me hope!!

[gkzoid]

Gives me hope cuz I'm tapering off zoloft cuz it's not working so good....and he thinks I have adhd....very similar story to yours....I just sit around....anything to do requires to much energy, I have no motivation at all....just sit and worry while watching tv....thanks for sharing your story!!!!

[mADDmike]

Hello! Thanks for sharing! I am very happy to hear this - getting the proper dx is so important. My daughter is being treated for anxiety, depression, and panic attacks which I see as being due to her undiagnosed ADD, but the testing not so much. I need to speak with the doctor and am waiting to see if my daughter will allow it. You mention being physically exhausted and malnourished - do you think this is because of the medicine?

[nushi]

I'm very happy for you Gloofitz I really pray for you that your life radically changes for the better now

I really got confused, & after I read your story I read more about ADD, but I got confused more, because I only found 2 symptoms of it that I have, hyperactivity (but perhaps this is hypomania for me), & restlessness. But I don't have lack of concentration

I think I have OCD, BP, OCPD, Schizophrenia... But I don't know if I should add ADD to the list There are many symptoms in me that are confusingly mixed up together

[kanasi]

I'm glad you could find the true culprit for your depression. I think I'm in a similar boat right now and although I'm not of the hyperactive type, I'm bouncing off the walls waiting for my chance to be evaluated by a specialist. If you're around, can I ask how things have gone since then?

[avlady]

boy this is getting close to home with me too. i suffer schitzophrenia, bipolar, ptsd, social anxiety disorder and other stuff. i wish i could have some of those pills too as i am constantly depressed every moment of every day. maybe it could help that too, even though i'm on several other meds which just stabelize the pshycosis.

[QuirkyGirl99]

Thanks for sharing this! I have a similar story as well. For almost my whole life I was treated for anxiety and depression with very little relief. I was chronic underachiever, who could barely hold on to a job for more than a year. I somehow managed to do well in high school, since I managed to hyper focus in class, and take detailed notes in order to pay attention. I never started working on term papers or projects until the very last second, because I seemed to rely on the adrenaline that would kick in as a result. Unfortunately, these techniques weren't as effective in college. I was constantly changing majors and the lack of structure left me helpless. Anyway,, fast forward to age 35. I found myself in a deep depression that lasted for 5 yrs. I didn't leave the house, work or socialize. I didn't take care of myself, rarely showered, ate or cleaned my surroundings. I had been put on a myriad of drug cocktails that never seemed to help. Then one day, I came across an article about ADHD and how it manifested in woman. I was in tears as I read the article, because everything that was mentioned was exactly what I was experiencing. I brought this to the attention of my Dr and was subsequently evaluated for ADHD. I was then put on Adderrall, which changed my life almost instantly. A good portion of the depression started to lift and I started to become functional again with my newfound clarity and focus. I'm not saying it is a "cure all", but it gave me the push and focus I needed to get my life back in order. Along with the medication, I have been working with a cognitive and behavioral therapist in order to learn better coping skills to make my life more manageable.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Solari]

Originally Posted by Gloofitz

I am new here today and want to share my story in hopes it will help someone else going through a similar situation, feeling as hopeless as I have most of my life.

To start I am a 46 year old male, I am married with a 20 year old son.

From an early age I was depressed and suffered anxiety and relentless worry

Looking back on my life I now understand why it went the way it did, I have always been very fortunate to have a very supportive loving family and good friends all the while suffering poor grades and eventually dropping out of school, I have never had a job that I would keep longer than a year before I quit.

I have always had big ideas and high but achievable goals for myself however when things didn't go as planned I would inevitably crash and burn ending up depressed, I never understood the hell I put my family through, my poor wife bore the brunt of my anger and depression, ( I never physically abused my wife)the angry outbursts and moody behavior sure weren't fair to her, I honestly do not understand why she is still with me or that she never killed me in my sleep,

I was quite haywire and out of control when I was younger, I partied hard, drinking my share of alcohol but somehow I managed to come out of it alive.

My depression worsened over the years and the episodes were getting worse, I was prescribed anti depressants on and off but never got a good result and would usually have negative reactions to the medication,

Recently I have had the worst depression, I have felt completely hopeless and did not leave the house for almost a month, I have lost at least 15 lbs, didnt brush my teeth, shave or shower for two weeks, I wanted to die.

My wife hauled me to the er one day as i could not stop shaking and had a hard time breathing

My doctor has put me on several different meds over the last month without relief of any type from my depression.

Finally my wife comes home from work on Saturday and asks me if I have ever been tested for ADD, I responded by telling her it wasn't a real thing it was just made up to control kids that misbehave in school.

My wife then says to me that she works with a 20 something girl that acts just like I did when we first met and it turns out she is ADD and that I should look it up.

My life fit the adult ADD checklist perfectly and the more I researched the more things made sense, I met with my doctor yesterday morning and had a good conversation with him in this regard, leaving with a prescription for Ritalin.

Right after I picked up my prescription I took my first pill and within 40 minutes I felt my depression completely lift, this was the first time in years I was free from it, I literally started crying as I was overcome with relief from the dark hell I lived in for years.

I never expected my depression to just dissipate the way it did, I am on day 2 now and have taken Ritalin 10 mg ir 3 times a day and while I am physically exhausted and malnourished, I am not depressed and finally have hope for the future.

I am very lucky to have my wife, she never quit on me when she had every reason, no one would have blamed her

Thank you for this! I suffer from severe ADHD and depression and haven't taken anything for the ADHD for over 15 years (nothing worked well) and focused on the depression and panic issues. My son's both have ADHD and suffer from depression as well (and they are both addicts too, common with ADHD too I have found). I am going to look into this for all of us. None of the ADHD or depression medication we have taken has worked very well for us, and we have tried dozens.

[Wellnerc]

Thank you for sharing your story. I am new to the forum after taking a quiz by chance for adhd/add and I scored really high. I too have been on depression meds for a majority of my adult life with I think marginal results. I was surprised that the test had so much of what I was feeling and your story along with others on this thread is so similar to what I have experienced. I'm hoping my dr will give me some new meds to manage it with some therapy maybe. Anyway thanks for sharing your story along with the others it makes me feel less crazy and hopeless.

[Wellnerc]

Gloofitz and others thank you for sharing your stories. It was like reading my own symptoms and I never even thought about add as the culprit. I have always been treated as having depression with meds and having marginal results like so many of you who posted. I'm hoping I can get some help from my dr. Good luck to all of you in your health.

[ScaryCarrie84]

Originally Posted by IowaFarmGal

She sounds like an Awesome person! I'm so glad for you that she figured this out and you had a doctor also that listens. I hope your life is going to get much better now. Wish you well! Welcome to Psych Central!

MY fiancé and you seem to have IDENTICAL stories. Just curious if you're still around If your depression is still lifted after being diagnosed with ADD and if you have any tips or tricks you've picked up along the way. I'm desperate, I Just want her to be happy. It rough knowing that i'm not enough. I too am awaiting a test for adult ADHD and i'm a shoe in! I would really appreciate it if you can get back to me. I'm new to this site, and as helpful it can be, it isn't so user friendly and can be very frustrating, especially considering i'm not diagnosed or receiving medication yet. lol. Thanks again!

Carrie