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Old 11-17-2018, 01:25 PM   #1
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Default Escapes from home, but where?

Hi everyone,

I am officially an adult but I still live with my parents. The following year I will finish my bachelor and I'm putting aside money to move out, or rather ''escape'' from my home. I live with my mother and father who drinks. Most people do not call him an alcoholic, but I say he is one. He also has neurosis. He gets drunk on average once, twice a month, and most of the time he drinks one to three beers. He had moments that he drinks all week, recently especially, it's like a month of peace then a month of drinking. It was like that all of my life, when I was a kid he got drunk on paying days. Then, my mother worked abroad and she was outside home, for example, two months. Then he often drank beer and occasionally got drunk. I used to have older brothers to help, my mother always called my brothers to calm him down. My father after drinking is aggressive, he does not beat us, but he abuse us mentally. Especially my mother, he cursing a lot to her. I thought that. He had been quiet for a few years, he was not drunk, and if it can be up to 5 times a year. But lately he does it often. I even called the police once. Unfortunately, my mother does not want to change anything, on the second day I usually talk to her about her options, what she can do. She promises me that she will go for help but does not do it. For several years I have lived with them alone. Now, I gave up. If my mother does not want a change, I will not force her to do it.
This is my situation.

The problem is that I'm losing confidence. Once I always stood in defense of my mother, I was able to scream at him and he was then so quiet and shut up. Now, if he is drunk, I behave the same as I was in childhood. I'm starting to shake, I'm just scared. That's why I either drown out his voice with music and deal with something or go out. But I have nowhere to go. Recently, I lost a boyfriend and my close friend. In college, I do not have friends to meet with them after classes. I can not count on my family, one brother is behind my father, the other lives abroad. From here is my question, where to go when my father is drunk? I have no ideas what to do with myself. I do not spend a lot of my money because I have a better goal - moving out. I just want to wait a few months until that will happen.

Has anyone also struggled with this problem - escapes from home? Where to go then? I can not go to the cinema every time ...I can't go to my friends house or someone from my family because I don't have them near me. It's awful, especially in winter...If anyone has any idea what I could do....
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Old 11-17-2018, 04:18 PM   #2
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Smile Re: Escapes from home, but where?

Hello onlythelonely: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the relationships & communication forum. Here's a link:

I'm sorry I don't think I have any suggestions with regard to places you could go... may be something such as a library if there is one & it's open? Hopefully there will be other members, here on PC, who will have some suggestions.

I hope ydou find PC to be of benefit.
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Old 11-18-2018, 11:05 AM   #3
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Default Re: Escapes from home, but where?

((((onlythelonely98)))) I'm sorry you're struggling. Good on you for trying to move out as soon as you can. I'm sorry I can't give you more suggestions...
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Old 12-29-2018, 11:56 PM   #4
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Default Re: Escapes from home, but where?

Hi onelythelonely.
Maybe you could start going to church on Sunday & make some friends there. Church is full of caring people who want to help other people. I have started going to church recently myself, because I don't have anyone who I can trust, and I, like you, need friends. It's not a quick fix but in time I'm sure that you'd find some friends there.
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