FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Chat Moderator
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Doing donuts in the parking lot
Posts: 4,270
8 10k hugs
given |
#1
I remember watching my mom cry a lot. She never saw me standing there in the hallway, watching her face in her hands at the counter, a shot of whatever she'd decided to consume that night. I remember before that, hearing so much yelling and screaming. I remember hearing the banging on the counters, walls and the stove. I remember hearing my drunk dad say some of the worst things you can say to a person, let alone your wife and mother of your kids.
My grandmas on both sides had passed away. They'd lost their moms. And it didn't bring them together. It broke what they had left into pieces. I remember my mom taking that shot, then pouring another. My dad had taken off, so he wasn't there to comfort her. I wanted to help but knew I'd get an *** kicking for seeing her vulnerable. My mom is a strong woman, she doesn't allow people to see her that way. She's too proud. Eventually, I'd go to bed. I'd hear her go to bed, cry some more and then it'd be silent. Sometimes I'd hear my dad come home. Most nights I wouldn't see him until after he got out of work the next day. He'd already smell like a brewery by the time he came home. And by the time he came home, mom was already drunk. They'd laugh for an hour. Then I'd have to go to my room before my dad started throwing things and my mom started screaming. Just thought I'd share that. How it's effected me and what happened on worst nights will have to wait for another time. This was just the average. It wasn't that bad. Just sucked. Peace. __________________ "Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
Reply With Quote |
avlady, Bill3, BlackMirror15, Fuzzybear, Goforward, HD7970GHZ, KarenSue, MickeyCheeky, mountainstream, Open Eyes, Victoria'smom
|
MickeyCheeky, Pat2019
|
Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
(SuperPoster!)
7 38.4k hugs
given |
#2
You deserved much better than that, Sò leigheas. You deserved to be loved and to be happy. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Please don't give up, my friend. You have every right to lead a normal and happy life. Just take it one step at the time. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Take baby steps. Remember that we're always here for you if you need it. We all love you here. I know it's not the same thing as having a support system IRL, but at least it's something. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm also here for you, my friend. I'll listen to you and won't judge you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you
|
Reply With Quote |
avlady, MtnTime2896
|
MtnTime2896
|
Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2,025
5 1,520 hugs
given |
#3
Sounds pretty bad to me, Soeigh's. (Sorry about your name, my computer decided to "correct" the spelling). Many many hugs. And DO keep trying to find your own, better way. I know you struggle hard. I've seen a lot of what you've written.
|
Reply With Quote |
avlady, MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
|
MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
|
Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,331
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#4
So leigheas
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
avlady, MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
|
MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
|
Member
Member Since Jan 2019
Location: CA
Posts: 273
5 838 hugs
given |
#5
Those are terrible memories. God bless you.
|
Reply With Quote |
avlady, MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
|
MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 2,150
16 747 hugs
given |
#6
|
Reply With Quote |
avlady, MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
|
MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
|
Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Europe & UK
Posts: 575
5 165 hugs
given |
#7
It's hard when our parents are not emotionally healthy. There is a level that it gets to me that only surfaces in nightmares. On the other level as an adult I see them as adults who were imperfect just like I am, and I want to say to them that I get it - really.
That wish to comfort my parents however unparent-like they behaved was part of my history also. __________________ *"Fierce <-> Reality"* oh god I am struggling today, help me to remember how to stay connected and human! remember: the nut shell against human predators and my own fear! |
Reply With Quote |
avlady, MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
|
MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
|
Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,924
15 24.1k hugs
given |
#8
|
Reply With Quote |
avlady, MtnTime2896
|
MtnTime2896
|
Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: angola ny
Posts: 9,786
(SuperPoster!)
11 28.8k hugs
given |
#9
I grew up in a huge family and someone was always fighting. not always from alcohol, but from behaviors unacceptable to one another. I did feel helpless a lot and scared if someone would hurt me good luck
|
Reply With Quote |
Bill3, MtnTime2896, Open Eyes
|
MtnTime2896
|
Reply |
|