I’ve worked in stressful management roles for many years. Work was the most important thing to me...
I didn’t realise I was hiding a lot of sadness, and deep rooted problems,until one day a gradual build up of feeling very strange and demotivated and very very exhausted..and I new I couldn’t carry on.
Via therapy I am realising I had a very neglectful childhood, dad was an alcoholic and mum very depressed. The realisation of being in that is tough..the fear I felt, the anxiety, the lack of care and guidance, the bullying at school because I wasn’t clean, I don’t blame my parents they had their reasons, I’m doing my best to come to terms with it all, it’s dificult and the outcome for me is that I now struggle a lot...
Writing it down helps...as I’m still coming to terms with it all...

[Skeezyks]

Thanks for sharing this. I had my problems growing up as well. I suppose everyone does. (Unfortunately I also went on to create a whole mountain of problems as an adult too.) I managed to keep trudging along for the first 50 years of my life. Then things slowly began to unravel. They've been slowly coming apart ever since. It's only recently I seem to have stemmed the decent.

I've never really dealt with most of what I've experienced. And, at this point, I'm quite certain I never will. It all simply is what it is... or was what it was... to be more accurate. I'm glad you're doing your best to come to terms with what you experienced though. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some help with that.

By the way, here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on adult children of alcoholics:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/children-of-alcoholics/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...oholic-parent/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...had-childhood/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...el-in-control/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...perfectionism/

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Thanks for sharing this. I had my problems growing up as well. I suppose everyone does. (Unfortunately I also went on to create a whole mountain of problems as an adult too.) I managed to keep trudging along for the first 50 years of my life. Then things slowly began to unravel. They've been slowly coming apart ever since. It's only recently I seem to have stemmed the decent.

I've never really dealt with most of what I've experienced. And, at this point, I'm quite certain I never will. It all simply is what it is... or was what it was... to be more accurate. I'm glad you're doing your best to come to terms with what you experienced though. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some help with that.

By the way, here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on adult children of alcoholics:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/children-of-alcoholics/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...oholic-parent/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...had-childhood/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...el-in-control/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...perfectionism/

Hi.
And thanks...yes I kinda feel at times , it is what it is....
I guess I’m also maybe still at the stage were I’m exploring exactly what, why, how, type of thing....things have begin to fall into place about why I’ve felt how to have, and acted as I have...I guess I’m exploring a little...
I’m sorry you’ve had your struggles...

I will take a look at those links I’m sure they will be of interest to me, and I am a great believer in knowledge is strength, in that the more I learn the better able to manage my mental health I become..

Best wishes and thank you for your kindness, means a lot to me
😊🌺

[Unrigged64072835]

I unraveled at 46, at the peak of my job and a wonderful marriage. I was dragging along an awful lot of emotional baggage, and it spilled off the cart.

Three years, a lot of meds and therapy later I am close to stable again. I'm still not able to work because of physical and mental issues, but I'm better than I was.

Had an alcoholic mother, physically and emotionally and physically abusive father, and they fought all the time. Like Skeezyks said, it led to even more trouble down the road as an adult.

So, you're not alone.

Originally Posted by Fharraige

I unraveled at 46, at the peak of my job and a wonderful marriage. I was dragging along an awful lot of emotional baggage, and it spilled off the cart.

Three years, a lot of meds and therapy later I am close to stable again. I'm still not able to work because of physical and mental issues, but I'm better than I was.

Had an alcoholic mother, physically and emotionally and physically abusive father, and they fought all the time. Like Skeezyks said, it led to even more trouble down the road as an adult.

So, you're not alone.

Thank you for sharing.
It helps to know I’m not alone, although I am sorry you struggled with it all too...

Best wishes 🌷🌷

[stillgrowing]

I too unraveled as an adult. I engaged in avoidance (by focusing on school/work and moving far away from home) at all costs and mistook that for dealing with all of the things that have led to me being an ACOA. I’m still trying to work through it all while also dealing with a recent bipolar diagnosis, but this thread has helped me feel less alone.

I just wanted you to know that there’s yet another person out here who understands and wishes you well.

Originally Posted by stillgrowing

I too unraveled as an adult. I engaged in avoidance (by focusing on school/work and moving far away from home) at all costs and mistook that for dealing with all of the things that have led to me being an ACOA. I’m still trying to work through it all while also dealing with a recent bipolar diagnosis, but this thread has helped me feel less alone.

I just wanted you to know that there’s yet another person out here who understands and wishes you well.

Hi
Thank you for replying.
Although I wouldn’t wish it on you, it’s comforting to know there are some who understand...
Every good wish to you 🌷

[stillgrowing]

Every good wish to you as well.

Originally Posted by stillgrowing

Every good wish to you as well.

Thank you.

I moved away from my area too..
Was wondering if this is maybe a trait for us..
To think if we get away the feelings will go away too...

Thank you x

[GetHiking]

Hello Red Daisy

Me too, a late realization that I'd grown up in an alcholic home and much moving of town, county and even country. Also workaholic drawn to stressful and chaotic situations.


I agree that it's a good idea to find out as much as you can. Like you I'm based in the UK and I was saddened and frustrated at the lack of available info and resources for adults from alcoholic homes here in the UK.


Glad to hear that it sounds as though you have a supportive therapist.

All the best,

GetHiking

[LeeeLeee]

I didn't identify until more recently either and I'm 48 years old. I believe we become fed up with toxic relating and having to defend our position all the time and things just crash.

While I do believe it's okay to set boundaries, I find myself having to justify them over and over. Whether it's being interrogated by complete strangers who find out that I'm not close to my family of origin, or saying "No," to something, or not wanting be the one doing all the legwork in a friendship because the various other persons "can't."

Hang in there. So glad you found this place.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry, Red daisy I'm glad you're finally starting to acknowledge this. Acknowledgement is the first step for healing. I hope things are going better for you and that therapy is helping. I hope writing here helps as well. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

[Fuzzybear]

[Goforward]

I feel for you Red daisy. My dad was an alcoholic. We moved constantly pillar to post. It was years later after my own dependence on alcohol that I realized he was trying to get away from himself. That never works. My wish for you Red daisy is that you never blame yourself. I pray that you will not look back except to release the pain.