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Member
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 264
9 6 hugs
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#1
Hopefully I start to feel better. I have real abandonment issues. My father was an alcoholic, and my mom stayed married to him. All my relationships have been rocky due to choosing the wrong partner except for one. So my current partner (soon to be ex) is a heavy drinker. This never surfaced at first but his drinking has progressively gotten worse. I guess I never noticed before as he put on a good act about being healthy etc. But everything revolves around drinking. I was starting to feel better about us when he temporarily stopped drinking but it was short lived. I am always triggered in this relationship. He has made plans before and flaked out because he drank and is out of it. He will drink and pass out early. He is now using it as a way to deal with stress. He drinks until he passes out..and I can’t watch him destroy himself like that..it’s heartbreaking. Plus it’s too bad a reminder of my childhood. I have told him about it but yet he doesn’t care. All he cares about is getting drunk like a 21-year old. By staying in the relationship, I’m only enabling him. He needs to hit rock bottom and he is not dragging me down with him.
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Bill3, unaluna, Yzen
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: North America
Posts: 2,168
7 4,766 hugs
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#2
I hope things get better for you! Therapy has helped me become more aware of which behaviors are serving me and which are a means of coping. I am also becoming more aware of behaviors of others are bringing me down and how to react.
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
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#3
I applaud you for your stance on this important issue. Like seriously commend you. You sound like an intelligent, articulate individual looking out for her best interests. Fantastic job.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,376
(SuperPoster!)
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#4
Good luck with your therapy!
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Member
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 264
9 6 hugs
given |
#5
Totally. His behavior was making me so anxious and on edge. He said I was overwhelming, but he was manipulative..so had to get away
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Junior Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 20
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#6
I am beginning to look for therapy. My mom was the alcoholic, and while I have been in a couple of relationships, I am mostly avoidant of them. I saw how much my father's treatment of her damaged her and I don't want to damage anyone like that.
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