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Old 09-20-2019, 03:26 PM   #1
simplex
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Default Laundry List and Discovering ACOA in ourselves

Hello,

I'm posting "the laundry list" which is a list of possible traits we have as adults dealing with alcoholic parent(s). I remember, when I first saw it, I thought. Wow! What a description of things I always wondered about but never new. This version is from VeryWellMind. If you haven't read Adult Children of Alcoholics, by Janet Geringer I would suggest checking it out. It's older now but I found it eye opening.

Guess at what normal behavior is

Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end

Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth

Judge themselves without mercy

Have difficulty having fun

Take themselves very seriously

Have difficulty with intimate relationships

Overreact to changes over which they have no control

Constantly seek approval and affirmation

Feel that they're different from other people

Are super responsible or super irresponsible

Are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved

Are impulsive—They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self-loathing, and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.

Some that stand out for me are: Guessing at what normal behavior is, difficulty having fun, and taking myself very seriously. My father passed 6 years ago, and never recovered. Unfortunately I'd begun drinking with him and found myself suffering consequences for alcohol. I have not had a drink for 4 years now and may be a father myself soon. I want to break the cycle so my child doesn't have to endure what I did. For those out there struggling with an alcoholic parent right now, or just addicted parent, you're not alone.
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Old 11-03-2019, 07:48 PM   #2
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Default Re: Laundry List and Discovering ACOA in ourselves

Quote:
Originally Posted by simplex View Post
Hello,

I'm posting "the laundry list" which is a list of possible traits we have as adults dealing with alcoholic parent(s). I remember, when I first saw it, I thought. Wow! What a description of things I always wondered about but never new. This version is from VeryWellMind. If you haven't read Adult Children of Alcoholics, by Janet Geringer I would suggest checking it out. It's older now but I found it eye opening.

Guess at what normal behavior is

Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end

Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth

Judge themselves without mercy

Have difficulty having fun

Take themselves very seriously

Have difficulty with intimate relationships

Overreact to changes over which they have no control

Constantly seek approval and affirmation

Feel that they're different from other people

Are super responsible or super irresponsible

Are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved

Are impulsive—They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self-loathing, and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.

Some that stand out for me are: Guessing at what normal behavior is, difficulty having fun, and taking myself very seriously. My father passed 6 years ago, and never recovered. Unfortunately I'd begun drinking with him and found myself suffering consequences for alcohol. I have not had a drink for 4 years now and may be a father myself soon. I want to break the cycle so my child doesn't have to endure what I did. For those out there struggling with an alcoholic parent right now, or just addicted parent, you're not alone.
Thank you for this information.
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Old 01-10-2020, 12:21 PM   #3
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Default Re: Laundry List and Discovering ACOA in ourselves

I haven't seen the laundry list in years and seeing it now makes me think I need to find a meeting in my area. Some of these things are no longer problems I have, but I think it's time to revisit all this.
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